When relationships go from being good to sad

8 Comments

My partner and I have been together for almost 13 years, we are not married but we have been engaged for almost 9 years. We have a beautiful 6 month old daughter but for almost 2 years now our relationship has gone down hill.
We have had our fair share of ups and downs like all couples go through, we even had a 3 year long distance relationship after our 1st year of dating due to work and school commitments which was very hard for the both of us. We have had other issues in the past but for almost the last 2 years nothing seems to be going right.
We used to communicate and tell each other everything, we trusted each other to go and do our own things and we were always saying or doing things that couples do when they are in love. Now we don’t do any of those things and I feel we are both starting to hate each other.
The only times we laugh or smile are when we are with our daughter and it feels like she is the only thing holding us together because we both don’t want her to be in a broken home. My parents separated when I was young and it was hard not having my mum and dad together.
Since I was pregnant I have also lost all interest in sex and my partner gets angry because I never want to do anything but I’m trying to fix that issue but I still feel like there are heaps of other things we need to work on but we both don’t feel like it will be worth it for some reason.
We are going to go see a councilor to try and fix our relationship and I really hope it helps us both become the couple we once were because I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.
I hate being sad and other friends and family have noticed that we aren’t the happy couple we used to be.
Is this the end of the relationship? I guess we will find out sooner rather than later.

Posted anonymously, 17th January 2015

8 Comments

- - mom160421 said
  - 31 Jan 2016
    5:03 pm
I hope you and your partner start communicating with each other – telling each other how you feel and hopefully making little changes here and there to get things back on track. Wishing you all the best.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 01 Nov 2015
    5:51 pm
I really hope that counselling is going well and is reigniting those bonds.

- - smiles said
  - 25 Apr 2015
    8:47 pm
It is a good thing that your are both trying to make it work and hopefully going to a councilor will help you as well. You do change a little once you have a child as you have another little one to look after and that can also make you tired and not interested in late night activities. All the best.

- - matildaspice said
  - 31 Jan 2015
    11:15 pm
Please be patient with yourself. It is very normal to lose your sex drive after being pregnant.

- - mom93821 said
  - 29 Jan 2015
    2:46 pm
I hope counselling helps with your situation.

- - mom62297 said
  - 20 Jan 2015
    10:27 pm
Big hugs honey xx i hope it all works out and the councilling helps. If it doesn’t at least you know that you did everything in your power to salvage your relationship. It is much better to get out before you both hate each other, as there is nothing more distressing for a child then bickering parents, even when seperated

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 19 Jan 2015
    1:47 am
Oh gee. Not sure what to say. I hope it all works out. If you feel like the counsellor is not the right fit for you, and sometimes that happens then seek out another one until you feel you are completely comfortable and happy with the one you chose.
- Newmum21 replied
  
  19 Jan 2015 , 11:55 pm
  Thank you for your advice. I will consider going to a different councilour if the first one we try doesn’t work out.