What It's Really Like Having Twins

When you have twins, everything is tested. Your patience, resilience, relationships…but most of all your physical and mental strength.

For most, the road to a multiple pregnancy is not straightforward. For many it involves fertility issues that may have stretched over many stressful years. The delight of successfully carrying multiple babies is very often followed by caution and paranoia.

All you want is for the pregnancy to follow a traditional path and that all of your babies will thrive equally. I have not heard of many straight forward multiple pregnancies.

Physically I was bowled over only 5 weeks into my twin pregnancy with extreme tiredness, nausea and a host of other physical side effects.

Most of my symptoms lasted the majority of the pregnancy, except the tiredness. Oh the tiredness, that has only seemed to subside now our twins are three years old.

Sounding negative? No, twins were the best thing that has ever happened to me. To us.

The greatest surprise that the universe could have delivered. I feel so lucky. Many many nights I have not felt so lucky. Caring for more than one baby, whilst trying to treat them as individuals, at the same time as maintaining a consistent routine, is exhausting.

Relentless. I really know the definition of relentless.

Our family has gained an extra child that perhaps may not have been proactively conceived. You see our little twin boys already had two older brothers before them. When I say older, they were only two and four when I discovered I was pregnant with twins. What a day that was.

We now have four delightful, delicious little boys that we get the privilege to raise. The older brothers were perhaps asked to do more, to be more patient, to be less jealous than they would have liked. Than they would have had to be, had it not been for the twins’ arrival.

But now they each have three brothers to fight with, to laugh with, to discover with and hopefully to protect them through life. It makes me feel fantastic that I have given them this gift. In time, I hope they all realise it was their greatest gift too.

What About Friendships?

My friendships have been tested and I have seen another side to people that I would not have otherwise. I know what a fair-weather friend is now. I really know whom the people are that I can count on. This will stand us all in good stead for the years ahead.

Looking back on the last three years of mayhem, sleeplessness, forgetfulness and anti sociability, I can reflect on all of the hard work our little team has put in. As individual gestures, all of the ‘favours’ my beautiful friends and family have done for us seem small. We could not have survived so well without them. They rose to the challenge with us and when you look back on life, that is what is important. Having twins gave us that unity.

The extra stress that raising multiples puts on a relationship is well documented.

Who has done the most night shifts and who has left the house the least became the daily battleground. Mums of multiples can resent their partner, as they seem to skip out of the house each morning into the fresh air of their day unfolding. Their day when they only have themselves to think about and they can eat, socialise and even go to the toilet alone.

When children and an endless list of daily chores surround you, it is really hard not to resent the life that they lead away from your home.

Resilience

A rainy day stuck inside with twin toddlers teaches you patience. 48 hours straight caring for sick twins teaches you resilience.

Constantly doing boring things for other people teaches you humility. Having multiples in your family teaches you gratitude. For any parent, they understand the pure joy they receive from watching their children thrive. With twins, it really is more than double the love. It has to be, no Multiple Mummy would survive without it.

So for all of those horrendous nights, those thousands of dirty nappy changes, the never-ending feeds, the unrelenting washing pile, the fights, the missed weddings, the loss of time with my other children, I really have gained. I am different than I was before.

Not in a way that most can see, but in a way that is far more important.

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66 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 31 May 2024
    12:32 pm
My Mum was a twin but her twin passed away. I am waiting to see if my kids have twins

- - mom400215 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    10:38 pm
I used to want to be a twin mum but I’m happy with just one at a time. Hats off to all the twin mums what an amazing effort

- - tessie said
  - 11 Oct 2021
    11:44 am
Not sure I could have handled a multiple birth but congratulations to all of those families who had multiple births and came out the other end appreciating the fact that they had multiple births.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 26 Sep 2021
    3:57 am
I was so hoping for a twin pregnancy, Only singles for me. What a beautifully written article.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 23 Sep 2021
    4:33 pm
Hats off to anyone with multiples! I have a friend with triplets and as much as it looks and sounds cute in theory, I’m glad it isn’t me!

- - anna213795 said
  - 10 Feb 2021
    8:40 pm
Sounds really full-on! I don’t envy parents of twins at all. This is where it pays to help our friends, even in small ways

- - mom152736 said
  - 20 Nov 2019
    11:06 am
woooh i’m going crazy with 1..i don’t know what i’d have done with two.

- - Mum2archer said
  - 30 Jun 2019
    10:17 pm
I have to say while I think twins are adorable, I dont think I could have handled them, and am happy with my one!

- - mom81879 said
  - 19 Nov 2018
    10:00 am
I have a couple if friends with twins, and another who had triplets, I used to always be in awe of them. I know the work involved with one baby, I imagine 2 or 3 at a time to be so stressful, and joyful, but so difficult, and rewarding

- - Blossom said
  - 28 Sep 2018
    12:08 am
Twins often skip a generation. The next generation probably won’t have twins

- - mom140193 said
  - 23 Jul 2018
    5:00 pm
Twins are definitely full on and hard work – especially in the early years. Goes without saying!!! But mine are my blessing – along with my 2 singletons. So many people tell me wow they must be hard work – but all babies are hard work either single or multiples. And you cope. It’s amazing how you adapt. I can’t imagine life without them!
And mine weren’t double everything as I feared when I found out! And was told by everyone – ‘wow it’s going to be double everything’. Yes a lot of the nessecaries were double but lots were the same as my first Singleton. Going from 1 to 3 in an instant was a HUGE learning curve but for me I think I would’ve struggled more if my twins were first. I knew what to expect. And as many challenges as I faced when they were tiny, I’ve had just as many if not more ‘easier’ moments because there’s two of them.
My favourite saying that I was given as a plaque for their room was ‘womb mates to room mates’. So gorgeous! They definitely have their moments with each other, but at the end of the day they have such a bond and it’s amazing to see them together. Compared to my singletons, my twins are incredibly close & I know they will be for life. That special twin bond they sometimes use to gang up on me & I have no idea what they’re doing or thinking – but they do & it’s amazing watching them grow up and be so close. Honestly I was so scared how I’d cope when I found out I was having twins, but I’ve coped with every challenge & they’ve given me so much joy.
Every child is special & a blessing. Twins are double
And as the article says – I’m definitely a different person and changed for the better for having my twins – the good, bad, ugly and truly special bond of twins.

- - mom81879 said
  - 30 Jun 2018
    6:23 pm
I always imagine having twins is just 2 X everything you would have with one baby. A lot of hard work

- - mom81879 said
  - 16 Jun 2018
    7:01 pm
My mum is a twin. I was a bit worried about having twins myself. It’s a huge workload with just one!!

- - Ellen said
  - 04 Jun 2018
    7:28 am
Both my husbands sister and brother have twi ns , but we don’t. My mum is an identical twin as well.
I have a friend who first had a girl, then triplets. Think with triplets the first years are even more hectic.

- - mom101628 said
  - 06 Feb 2017
    11:35 pm
I kept being told I was having twins – had four babies, so very pleased the twins never eventuated.

- - mom81879 said
  - 18 Nov 2015
    9:01 pm
I’m friends with a family. The eldest daughter had a girl and then twin boys. The eldest boy had a girl, a boy then twin girls. The next boy had twin girls then a boy with another girl due soon. The youngest girl had a girl and was too worried about having twins,mshe didn’t have any more babies. Lol

- - Carolineb said
  - 24 Aug 2015
    11:04 am
Well done to all those mummies who have multiples. I struggle with just the one.

- - Schmoofie1983 said
  - 02 Jun 2015
    5:16 pm
Well done to all the mums of multiples, one baby is hard enough, I can’t even imagine two at once!!

- - mom63828 said
  - 02 Jun 2015
    1:06 pm
In a funny sort of way it’s nice to read someone is the same boat as me, I have a 9 year old girl, 6 year old and identicial twin boys 3 years old, we were happy with the pigeon pair as they call it but I kept having urges for one more! Never thought it would have been two more! It was a huge shock espically for the hubby, all he kept seeing was the $$ side of things, bigger car, bigger house etc etc! I just kept thinking omg how will I deal with two babies at once! But 3 years on it’s had it’s up and downs but they are great little buddies, they play together, look out for each other and miss each other when they are not together. It’s lovely to see all this. It’s hard work with 4 children and juggling all the different activities everyday, but wouldn’t change it for the world.

- - kymichelle said
  - 02 Jun 2015
    11:15 am
As a girl I always thought I’d love having twins. With many in my family including my grandfather, cousins and cousins daughters it was on the cards but didn’t happen. Having had my first two only 11.5 months apart I’m actually pretty glad now as I’m not sure I would have coped so well!