Why A Sleep Divorce Could Be The Secret To A Happy Marriage

Choosing to sleep in a different bed to your partner could improve intimacy and make your relationship stronger. Would you consider a sleep divorce?

Sharing a bed with your partner isn’t always beneficial when it comes to getting a decent night of sleep. By the time you factor in snoring, shift work and temperature difference, not to mention constant tossing and turning, it’s a miracle that any couple is able to get any shut-eye at all. Experts say that the number of couples opting for a ‘sleep divorce’ is on the rise and it could be making their relationships stronger than ever…

Personal Space

Jennifer Adams, who wrote the hugely successful book Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, says that marriage can often be happier when couples give each other personal space. “Show me the stats of divorced couples who shared a bed every night,” she told The Daily Mail.

“Sleeping in separate rooms does not mean the end of a relationship, it’s just a way of maintaining a relationship.” Jennifer said that couples are becoming more honest about the need to prioritise quality sleep over sharing a bed. “Talking about it openly becomes more socially acceptable,” she said. “You would be surprised how many happily married couples are already doing this!”

Sleep To Survive

Dr Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist and relationship expert, said that couples sleeping in separate beds is more common than many might think. “Look at the facts. Sleeping has nothing to do with intimacy but we all need it to survive.”

“What I don’t encourage couples doing is permanently sleeping separately. Maybe once or twice a week so you can get a full night’s sleep and you’re not waking up grumpy and resentful.”

We think many couples, particularly mums and dads, value quality night’s sleep. If it means opting for a sleep divorce a couple of times a week to get it, we think it’s well worth it for your health and your relationship.

Have you and your partner opted for a ‘sleep divorce’? Share your story in the comments.

76 Comments

- - mom185490 said
  - 20 Apr 2020
    6:55 am
My husband and I both believe having a king sized bed has definitively saved our relationship.
1. we have room to give each other space
2. when one of the kids are sick, they have room to jump into bed with us (as opposed to us going into different beds).

- - mom146810 said
  - 19 Apr 2020
    9:39 pm
We are doing it not out of choice but because of young kids, I sleep in their room and hubby sleeps in the bedroom. In the beginning I was very upset with all this because I felt it will keep me, away from him but now after some time I am okay with this.

- - mom460689 said
  - 19 Apr 2020
    8:43 pm
I cant imagine sleeping in separate beds. I just make sure I fall asleep first so I dont need to listen to snoring ????

- - nadine_hill said
  - 19 Apr 2020
    11:07 am
I sometimes resort to the bed in the spare room if hubby is snoring loudly … a kick in the side usually stops him, lol, but if it doesn’t, I do have a quiet space to retreat to!

- - taynik46 said
  - 19 Apr 2020
    8:47 am
spare bed much comfier than the two person couch – i get very irritable, emotional and angry when I have consistent interrupted sleep patterns due to my husband snoring – I really need a sleep room for myself to get a decent nights sleep, that would most certainly prevent my grumpiness!

- - mom207052 said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    5:13 pm
I find this is less uncommon these days. Separate and a joint bed

- - Mumofboys said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    3:08 pm
Kinda wish we had a spare bed some nights so I could sleep without him (baby doesn’t want to sleep alone or hubby snoring is real loud)

- - Cookfromscratchmum said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    2:00 pm
Great idea it makes sense

- - mom462038 said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    12:07 pm
It’s not a permanent arrangement. But if hubby is snoring particularly bad, I will jump into bed in the spare room. No point staying where I am if I’m not going to get any slerp

- - Umbrellas27 said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    10:58 am
Yes we sleep apart cause we cannot stand each other’s Snoring lol

- - Amanda Holland said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    9:57 am
Not during winter!! Haha

- - Ellen said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    8:13 am
We have different bedtimes but sleep part of the night together and spend part of the night hours by ourselves which gives personal space and works for us.
- mom90758 replied
  
  18 Apr 2020 , 11:28 am
  Exactly the same for me. I am an early bird, my husband a night owl. This way we don’t bother each other all night. 😉
- - Thereyneydays said
  - 18 Apr 2020
    12:49 am
This is so interesting but nope, couldn’t do it!

- - mom290396 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    11:54 pm
I get around 3 hours in bed to myself every morning. But when our second was a baby, my husband had a terrible cough, so he slept in the guest room for a few months, so as not to keep me and the baby awake. It was amazing. We enjoyed it so much, that we actually forgot to move him back into our room after his cough went and the baby was in his own room. We enjoy sleeping together in the same bed but it’s nice to have your own space too!

- - mom265671 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    10:54 pm
Have to agree we both get better sleep

- - rnash02 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    10:09 pm
Hubby is a farmer, during sowing and harvest is away, does that counf

- - ashna9 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    9:24 pm
I love having my own sleep space now and then.

- - snazzy007 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    8:18 pm
Interesting idea we already have kids in bed this would be next step

- - mom160289 said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    7:51 pm
Personally I don’t like the idea of sleeping separately

- - BellaB said
  - 17 Apr 2020
    6:43 pm
Not formally, but when my husband’s snoring is particularly bad, I relocate.