March 29, 2018


T H R E E N A G E R ; noun ; ‘f r eeeee neigh dj er’ The age of ones child between 2 and 4. The longest year of your life.

Often threenager-dom starts early, and finishes late, thus making ‘the longest year of your life’ exponentially longer.

I’m sure you don’t need this list to let you know you’re *in the midst of hell* I mean, living with a threenager. But here it is anyways, just for shits and giggles you know.. because, if we don’t laugh we will cry.

Warning: If you are yet to experience threenager life, STOP READING NOW. I repeat, you really don’t want to see what is ahead of you. If you’ve passed through the cyclone and are now loving life in 4 year old bliss – we don’t want to know! The whole ‘there’s light at the end of the tunnel’ phrase aint gonna fly over here, the tunnel is too long and dark right now! lol

1. You get actual heart palpations when it comes to the following; any occasion that involves food, bathtime, bedtime, getting dressed, getting undressed, getting in the car (ironically not getting out of the car).

2. The shape of an object (mainly sandwich) has NEVER been so monumentally important. Evidentially, extremely changeable, even mid way through consumption.

3. A favourite food/toy/activity yesterday, is MOST DEFINITELY the worst imaginable thing today. But more than likely will be upgraded to VIP status again tomorrow. (Note to parents; this is particularly accurate with food, especially when you’ve run out of it)

4. They like bananas, They like apples, but don’t you F*cking dare let the two touch in the bowl, this ain’t no fruit salad!

5. They would much rather wear the dirty shirt from yesterday (and even the day before) then wear an almost identical CLEAN one.

6. Won’t go to bed. Falls asleep on the lounge. Wakes screaming when being transferred. Repeat process. OVER and OVER.

7. You catch yourself saying ‘oh for fox sake’ under your breathe, 50 times a day.

8. You CRAVE a car ride where you can enjoy music (of your choice) in SILENCE, without having to argue with a miniature version of yourself about your preferred music.

9. Simple outtings are no longer ‘simple’. A cloud of unpredictable chaos looms over your head on all occasions, you’re basically living life walking through a mind field – trying your best at every moment to avoid triggering an explosion. These explosions are most common at restaurants, at the check out, or midway through important phone calls – no biggies!

10. They catch you off guard with their beautiful manners, sweet persona and loving gestures, a little glimpse or ‘teaser’ into the future (hopefully sooner rather than later) where the tantrums, meltdowns and catastrophic mood swings aren’t as prevalent.

Hang in their Mumma, the count down is on until the 4th Birthday (Am i right?) Like a magical switch it will ALL be a distant memory once they reach that magical milestone! LOL one can dream.

This post originally appeared on Bec Crombie – That Mum, Wife, Travel, Life and has been shared with full permission.

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  • My kids are adults now….I miss having under 5’s in the house.


  • It doesn’t stop at 4. still the same problem with an almost 6 y.o. including music in the car, or even worse the wrong show on TV “I don’t want to watch this” (said a few times), then a full blown tantrum. It’s like it’s the end of the world “She’s never going to watch the show again for the rest of her life”


  • Gosh! we have been pretty lucky.


  • My 4yr old has Down Syndrome, don’t know how long she’ll stay in this stage… Lord have mercy ! ;)


  • patience mummas! we show it to them so that one day, they will show it to us. lol great read

    • Patience for sure – stages to work through.


  • Sounds just like my grandchild.


  • We have had problems with kids not wanting to get out of the car. They plead for apples, they are fruit and good for them so you buy them. Suddenly they don’t like apples any more. The same thing has happened with other fruit. Not good if it is one other family members don’t like. If you don’t have the ready funds to buy something else, leave the apples there and they will probably be eaten later. You possibly still need to pack extra clothes in case of an “accident” when you go out. They are too busy with other things to stop to go to the toilet. ggrrr!!! Not great when you are visiting people, especially the elderly when your youngsters are polite one minute and throwing a huge tantrum the next. It does’lt stop at 4 y.o. either.


  • My boys would be fair little devils and do most of these things until visitors arrived, then they were perfect angels and butter wouldn’t have melted in their mouths. Then the worst thing happened. The visitors left and I was left with the devils again. I used to wish our visitors wouldn’t go home at times. Still wouldn’t have missed the threenagers for all the world.


  • 3 is so much worse than 2 ever was. 3 is a NIGHTMARE!


  • My daughter is three and a half and for the most part she is pretty good but sometimes you have to ride out the little melt down too.


  • HA! My daughter wasn’t so bad at age three. She is four now and so stroppy and cheeky some days I wonder where my little darling has gone and who is this gremlin that has replaced her!


  • Now that my son’s 16, I wish for, no long for, the threenager phase. Things are so much simpler then.


  • Definately number 7 applies – cursing under your breath. Doesn’t help….


  • Yep, they say terrible two’s but I think the three’s are worse. But saying that, I look back and think it was rather amusing. Wouldn’t change a thing.


  • I have a threenager but it’s not too bad. Here and there a wee tantrum or meltdown, from which I either pull up my shoulders and walk away, or spread my arms out wide and offer/receive a hug.


  • I have a four year old and a two year old. I don’t recall the threenager stage with my first, but judging by the terrible twos currently….. I don’t want them for the second.


  • I thought we had the terrible twos. OMG my threenager has me saying FFS every five seconds????????????????????????. Then she drops the sharing is caring and thank yous and the beautiful things that melt my heart, then tears it all apart!!! When will it end??? November come quick!!!!????????????????


  • yep my kids didn’t do the terrible twos but holy cow we had an attack of the threenagers, so now I have threenagers and teenagers, so love my saturday grocery shopping holidays!


  • First time I’ve heard of the term threenager, but I can totally relate. My daughter was real little miss at age 3


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