Adelaide mum, Nene Fulcher sadly knows a lot about stillbirth. When she heard of another mum struggling she soon rushed to be by her side and offer her support.
When a pregnant mum reached out via Facebook at 24 weeks, “alone and scared”, and about to give birth to her stillborn son. A total stranger rushed to be by her side.
Nene, lost baby Jacob at 24 weeks. She established a Facebook page in his memory and wanted to let others know “I’m here as a resource for you should you need it.”
And she meant it. Last week when a mum contacted her explaining her situation, Nene was more than willing to support her.
Her Facebook post explains the heart breaking experience they all shared.
*TRIGGER warning – GRAB THE TISSUES
“On Thursday night around 10pm I had a young woman send a message to the Page. She explained to me that she was nearly 24 weeks Pregnant and sitting alone in the hospital, waiting for her stillborn son to come into the world. She was scared and anxious and she didn’t know who to turn to.”
“Half an hour later, I was sitting in room 23 at the Gawler hospital. And that’s where I have spent the majority of the last 48 hours”, writes Nene.
She continues, “I’ve very quickly gotten to know two very special people… Sandra and Michael along with their 2 children, Scarlett and tiny baby Vincent.
What was meant to be a visit to answer any questions she may have and offer any reassurance she may need in her ability to deliver him, turned into a quickly formed friendship and me witnessing the birth of an angel.”
Nene explains, “Sandra endured 32 hours of strong labour. Michael was right by her side when she really needed him to be and the love and support was completely breathtaking.”
“I think having someone there who knows exactly what’s coming was what she needed from me, and as weird as it sounds I was quite excited to think that I would be able to use my bad experience to guide someone through theirs.
I answered every question to the best of my ability and with 100% honesty.
I’m not going to lie…. I was shitting my pants. I was nervous, anxious and wondered if being in there was going to dig up memories I’d subconsciously buried.”
“That wasn’t the case. Don’t get me wrong… I cried. But I wasn’t crying for myself or Jacob… I was crying for Sandra and Michael and their precious baby.
Vincent made a spectacular entrance ( after torturing mum for 32 hours of contractions). 3 massive contractions and exploding amniotic sac and he was born in the bathroom!”
Nene shares, “the biggest advice I had for her was to collect as many memories as possible. Use every opportunity to preserve his memory as it will bring the most comfort when the bad days outnumber the good.”
“One of the hardest things I’ve battled with personally is pinpointing a ‘reason’ for Jacobs existence. Creating his meaning of life has been my priority. I guess In a way I feel like I need to justify my intense grief for him. Why is he so special?
This is why.
Who would have answered Sandra’s intimate questions and put her mind at ease if Jacob didn’t die?
Perhaps raising money for an organisation wasn’t meant to be Jacobs legacy after all. Maybe this was it. Maybe it can be again.
Would I do it again for another complete stranger? Yes. Was it difficult for me.. Yes! BUT little Vincent has probably changed my life for the better.
Sandra, your son has been on this earth for barely a day and he’s already altered the direction of my life. I hope that brings you comfort.
Maureen and kylie you were so amazing! The absolute best midwives a girl could ask for.
Now a message for you Sandra.
You are so much stronger than you think. You may not feel like it right now but what I have seen over the past 2 days is nothing short of amazing.
You laboured for 32 hours and you didn’t falter once. If you think to cry is to fail then you have much to learn about the journey ahead.
You did absolutely everything your son needed you to do. You fought through the pain to bring him into the world the safest way possible. Your instincts as a mother to protect your beautiful baby was perfected with the help of your loving supportive husband, who was also incredible.
The week ahead of you is going to be long and tough. I will most definitely be there every step of the way if either of you need me.
THANKYOU for letting me be there to witness the birth of an angel from a different position. You’ve helped me and you’ve given me renewed strength to help others.
You’ve most definitely started the foundations to create a lasting legacy for baby Vincent.
Rest in peace baby Vincent.
For support contact Sands Australia 24 hour support line on 1300 072 637.
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