A grieving mother who lost her toddler son shares the heart-wrenching story of how she still shops for her son and organises activities for him.

The mother explained to other members on Mumsnet that she signs her 3 year old son, Noah, up for after school clubs and orders him outfits online as a way of coping. In the post she revealed her ‘beautiful son’, called Noah James, was nearly three when he passed away.

She wrote: ‘Hi I have known of Mumsnet for ages and just when I was about to sign up and join in, my life changed massively.

‘My beautiful son was taken from me and life was ever so difficult. I would like to keep this quite short, so sorry for the lack of info.

‘However, I now do stupid stuff, it’s pathetic really, but in a way, it does help.’

‘I will go onto all the shops online and do a whole order of clothes, all different age groups, for little boys, I’ll purchase them and then I’ll just send them back… It’s the same with in store clothes.

‘I sign him up for clubs he’ll never go to and when it gets to the day of going, I pretend that we have found somewhere else.

‘I actually go to open days of schools and take a look around, I have been to secondary schools too. It is so ridiculous, but I just cannot help it…

‘AIBU (am I being unreasonable) to do such a stupid thing??? I know it is stupid, but I don’t know.’

The thread has since been closed.

The Daily Mail reports, many users recognised that the mother was obviously in distress and asked if she had sought professional guidance.

Encouraged by the support, the mother opened up a little more. She continued: ‘Thank you all. It happened exactly 9 months ago… His name was Noah James, he was absolutely perfect, he had such beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile.

‘No, I haven’t had professional help, I just don’t know if it’ll help much.’

lost found

We do hope this mum seeks the help that may guide her through.

If you or someone you know are struggling with the loss of a loved one please contact Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

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  • It is really really hard to let go of that feeling, I do hope she will get help to find a way to let go.


  • Oh my goodness, my heart is aching for this poor mum. I cannot imagine how she is feeling and hope I never have to, but I am afraid for her. I want someone to take her in their arms and hold her and get her through this nightmare. I understand she will never be the same, but I don\’t want her to be \’stuck\’ where she is. I hope she will seek help or accept it, she is suffering so badly, my heart bleeds.


  • I wonder if other family members are supporting her at all. I know they are possibly still grieving too. Shen eeds to be encouraged to see her Doctor, also to join a group such as Beyond Blue. I think there may be some other organisations too.


  • I really feel for her. It would be so hard and I can’t imagine how I would cope. I hope she gets some proper guidance


  • I don’t think this is stupid, it’s an expression of huge pain. I hope she was able to get help.


  • Such an incredibly sad story – truly feel for her heartbreak. Hope she does seek and find the support she needs.


  • Truely heartbreaking and Very tragic. She must definetly is going through grief and part of the coping mechanism for her is denial and although she knows he’s gone, part of her still doesn’t believe it. I would definetly recommend professional help.


  • The poor lady. The grief of losing a child is unimaginable. I hope she can get some professional help to work through her grief in a healthy manner


  • Made me cry – I don’t blame her. Poor woman. But i do also believe she needs to find help, so that she can move on and her precious bub can RIP Xx


  • This mother lost her child only recently so I don’t believe her behaviour is weird. I understand it’s her way of coping with the loss right now. I do think talking with a qualified person will help her work through her grief rather than remain stuck and not able to move on. When you lose someone close to you, you never forget them and you miss them daily, but you go on for your own sake and for the sake of other loved ones who need you.


  • This must be so painful for her. I really hope she will look for some professional help. I’m sure they would be able to do something for her. :-(


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