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A man has been left feeling more than a little uncomfortable, after his brother’s ‘weird’ birth request, and it’s created an awkward rift between the siblings.

It’s left the man in a sticky spot, not knowing whether to let his brother go through with his birth request, or risk causing a family feud.

“My brother has made a really weird request of me,” the man revealed on reddit. “He asked me if him and his girlfriend could use my house to give birth at. I didn’t even know what he was getting at at first but he explained to me that their apartment doesn’t have a bathtub, is too small for an inflatable pool and it would attract too much attention if the birth was there and the neighbours will likely call the authorities.”

The man explained that he has a house, rather than an apartment, a bathtub and more room than his brother. His brother has gone so far as to tell him he should feel ‘honoured’ that they’ve asked to give birth in his house.

“I thought this was so weird. I thought they would go to the hospital like is normal but they haven’t used a doctor at all so I have no idea how it works and if the hospital would ask who their doctor is.”

Not having children of his own, the man admits he has little experience with birth, but is frightening something could go wrong.

“My brother said I don’t have to be there if I feel uncomfortable. I don’t have a problem with him or his girlfriend but I feel strange at the thought of leaving the two of them alone with my house. I’m a guy and I don’t have kids so I admit to no experience in this area but I’m also worried something could go wrong because neither my brother or his girlfriend are doctors or have any medical training.”

‘I’ll look like a jerk’

The expecting dad has been pressuring his brother to allow he and his girlfriend to birth in his home, and now the man feels completely hamstrung.

“My brother and his girlfriend have been saying how upset they’ll be if I say no, that the mother being comfortable is what’s most important and I shouldn’t deny her and that I’ll look like a jerk if I turn down their request because they don’t have a backup house. I just don’t get why they can’t go to the hospital even though I have not said it. My mum also hinted one time to me it would be a nice thing to do.”

“Would I be the a**hole if I didn’t let them use my house for the birth, because it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and I would prefer they use a hospital?”

What do you think he should do? Let us know in the comments below!

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  • It’s a big ask I don’t think you can expect someone to let you use their house for a homebirth.

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  • The real issue is that they are guilt tripping the brother into gaining permission to use his house. These people sound too immature to be parents.

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  • Why can’t they use their parents house if they want a homebirth? Do they have an emergency back-up plan and do they have a doola or midwife to be there? The only one being unreasonable is his brother for asking this in the first place.

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  • If they want a homebirth they should of thought of where to have it before they decided they wanted one

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  • Wow! I actually think it’s a bit much of the brother to ask. If you want a home birth, I would think it would be in your home. If that doesn’t work for your home, perhaps reconsider.

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  • The expectant father and his girlfriend can ask, but if the answer is no, then find another way. I think it’s unfair they are putting so much pressure on this single guy.

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  • If he is not feeling comfortable he should talk to his brother about it. If he waits to long to have the discussion then it might be harder to back out and it will be assumed he said yes.

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  • At home births are ill-advised but I shouldn’t think it would be that hard to swap houses when the time came. But all comes down to the relationship between the siblings- close or not?


    • Many countries reported that less than 1% of births took place at home. In the Netherlands, where home births have been a usual option for women with uncomplicated pregnancies, 16.3% of all births occurred at home. My mum had home birth with all 5 of us. My eldest sister had home births with both of her children (she was btw a midwife herself).

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  • I was expecting much worse request. I dont think it’s that bad of an ask. Just say no if you feel uncomfortable

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  • I don’t think it’s such a strange request at all. I hope the couple talked about this with their midwife.

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  • I would be extremely worried if this was a first baby and they had not been checked by an obstetrician and my answer would be NO because anything could occur and you wouldn’t want the responsibility for it. They could have a baby birthing in most hospitals these days and that is where they should be.

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  • Lots of mess and they should at least have a midwife present, particularly as it’s their first baby.
    An odd request.
    Is there any reason they don’t want a midwife present?
    He could offer to remove some of their furniture instead for a while and they get a proper birthing pond/pool.
    A bath tub would be awkward anyway.

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  • I personally wouldn’t ask another person to birth in their tub.

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  • I dont think the request in general is all that strange plenty of people opt for home home births and have a midwife present I think it would really depend on the relationship he has with the parents to be how comfortable he is with having them in his home and how comfortable they would be in his home in a different situation etc.

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  • Why on earth would they fear their neighbours “calling the authorities”? I think he’s right to be wary. I would refuse the request. There are far more sensible options – like, as he says, hospital.

    Reply

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