Man Astonished At Brother's 'Weird' Birth Request

A man has been left feeling more than a little uncomfortable, after his brother’s ‘weird’ birth request, and it’s created an awkward rift between the siblings.

It’s left the man in a sticky spot, not knowing whether to let his brother go through with his birth request, or risk causing a family feud.

“My brother has made a really weird request of me,” the man revealed on reddit. “He asked me if him and his girlfriend could use my house to give birth at. I didn’t even know what he was getting at at first but he explained to me that their apartment doesn’t have a bathtub, is too small for an inflatable pool and it would attract too much attention if the birth was there and the neighbours will likely call the authorities.”

The man explained that he has a house, rather than an apartment, a bathtub and more room than his brother. His brother has gone so far as to tell him he should feel ‘honoured’ that they’ve asked to give birth in his house.

“I thought this was so weird. I thought they would go to the hospital like is normal but they haven’t used a doctor at all so I have no idea how it works and if the hospital would ask who their doctor is.”

Not having children of his own, the man admits he has little experience with birth, but is frightening something could go wrong.

“My brother said I don’t have to be there if I feel uncomfortable. I don’t have a problem with him or his girlfriend but I feel strange at the thought of leaving the two of them alone with my house. I’m a guy and I don’t have kids so I admit to no experience in this area but I’m also worried something could go wrong because neither my brother or his girlfriend are doctors or have any medical training.”

‘I’ll look like a jerk’

The expecting dad has been pressuring his brother to allow he and his girlfriend to birth in his home, and now the man feels completely hamstrung.

“My brother and his girlfriend have been saying how upset they’ll be if I say no, that the mother being comfortable is what’s most important and I shouldn’t deny her and that I’ll look like a jerk if I turn down their request because they don’t have a backup house. I just don’t get why they can’t go to the hospital even though I have not said it. My mum also hinted one time to me it would be a nice thing to do.”

“Would I be the a**hole if I didn’t let them use my house for the birth, because it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and I would prefer they use a hospital?”

What do you think he should do? Let us know in the comments below!

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31 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 08 Jul 2024
    1:03 pm
How very rude of them and to try and make him feel like he is a bad person if he says no is so wrong. Simply because of their attitude and that they are using emotional blackmail I would say NO. I dont take to being blackmailed in anyway.

- - mom492462 said
  - 25 Feb 2023
    3:46 pm
If the soon to be uncle says No
Asshole no
In the bad books with the young couple for a while properly yes
My take on this is the young couple want a natura / minimal medicine
interfence birth
Which can be a beautiful enlightening experience for all involved
MY suggestion would be to rent a motel room close a hospital as possible for any unexpected complications
And buying or hiring a birthing bath
Both sides have to be respectful of each other’s choices

- - mom323673 said
  - 26 Feb 2022
    5:04 pm
Why do people expect so much out of others. If hes not comfortable just leave it, go to a hospital.

- - mom468034 said
  - 22 Jan 2022
    9:15 am
Trust yr gut, say no.Theyre guilting you into agreeing which is really crappy, and manipulative. You arent a hospital or hotel, and it is yr home. As for ” you should be honoured to be asked”- what BS!!! Also red flags at hearing they havent a doctor or been seen reg by midwife- if something goes wrong you need to be close to help. Also, hello, pandemic?!

- - mom466291 said
  - 11 Jan 2022
    7:48 am
Gotta talk yo your brother and express concerns but sounds like the brother won’t say no after ‘you should feel honoured’ ahh I hate when people say that

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 03 Jan 2022
    8:25 am
Definitely big no from me…my house is not a hospital.

- - mom223151 said
  - 26 Dec 2021
    11:49 am
The fact that they have not even used a doctor would send off alarm bells for me. It truly sounds so weird and absurd. They are really making him feel so guilty – manipulating him to the extreme. I honestly think he should refuse for their safety and his peace of mind.

- - becstalou said
  - 05 Dec 2021
    10:36 pm
It’s a big ask I don’t think you can expect someone to let you use their house for a homebirth.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 01 Dec 2021
    9:43 pm
The real issue is that they are guilt tripping the brother into gaining permission to use his house. These people sound too immature to be parents.

- - tessie said
  - 30 Nov 2021
    11:36 am
Why can’t they use their parents house if they want a homebirth? Do they have an emergency back-up plan and do they have a doola or midwife to be there? The only one being unreasonable is his brother for asking this in the first place.

- - mom60462 said
  - 24 Nov 2021
    12:39 pm
If they want a homebirth they should of thought of where to have it before they decided they wanted one

- - rovermum said
  - 22 Nov 2021
    10:30 am
Wow! I actually think it’s a bit much of the brother to ask. If you want a home birth, I would think it would be in your home. If that doesn’t work for your home, perhaps reconsider.

- - mom160270 said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    8:58 pm
The expectant father and his girlfriend can ask, but if the answer is no, then find another way. I think it’s unfair they are putting so much pressure on this single guy.

- - KellyB said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    4:04 pm
If he is not feeling comfortable he should talk to his brother about it. If he waits to long to have the discussion then it might be harder to back out and it will be assumed he said yes.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    9:23 am
At home births are ill-advised but I shouldn’t think it would be that hard to swap houses when the time came. But all comes down to the relationship between the siblings- close or not?
- Ellen replied
  
  22 Nov 2021 , 8:36 am
  Many countries reported that less than 1% of births took place at home. In the Netherlands, where home births have been a usual option for women with uncomplicated pregnancies, 16.3% of all births occurred at home. My mum had home birth with all 5 of us. My eldest sister had home births with both of her children (she was btw a midwife herself).
- - Danicastefanie said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    8:11 am
I was expecting much worse request. I dont think it’s that bad of an ask. Just say no if you feel uncomfortable

- - Ellen said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    7:12 am
I don’t think it’s such a strange request at all. I hope the couple talked about this with their midwife.

- - lwcarden said
  - 19 Nov 2021
    10:38 pm
I would be extremely worried if this was a first baby and they had not been checked by an obstetrician and my answer would be NO because anything could occur and you wouldn’t want the responsibility for it. They could have a baby birthing in most hospitals these days and that is where they should be.

- - syna said
  - 19 Nov 2021
    10:06 pm
Lots of mess and they should at least have a midwife present, particularly as it’s their first baby.
An odd request.
Is there any reason they don’t want a midwife present?
He could offer to remove some of their furniture instead for a while and they get a proper birthing pond/pool.
A bath tub would be awkward anyway.

- - mom74005 said
  - 19 Nov 2021
    9:50 pm
I personally wouldn’t ask another person to birth in their tub.