A mum of two asks why we are always so insistent on telling kids not to cry.

Sharing on Katesurfs Facebook page she begins by saying, “It makes me sad when I hear people praising a child for not crying.”

“Crying is a completely natural emotion that should not be suppressed. A child who holds in a cry is not a big girl or a big boy or brave or being well behaved or even happier, for that matter… an upset child who holds in a cry is a little boy or little girl who felt the urge to cry, but suppressed the cry either because the child wasn’t comfortable enough to express his or her emotions or has been taught that it’s not acceptable to cry in front of people.

An Emotional Release

When a person cries, the emotional release is so great that there’s a chemical change in the body and toxins are physically released through tears! A child is born to naturally cry when upset in order to heal from any emotional or physical traumas. Because of our own baggage (and believe me, I had plenty to work through) we distract, bribe, threat or even punish to make the child stop.

Just let the kids cry when they’re upset! See our tendencies to try and stop a child from crying and be aware of what we’re doing. Do we need them to stop crying for any particular reason? Or, is their crying just pushing our buttons? Even when we ask them nicely “Oh, what’s the matter?” Or say “It’s ok”, we’re actually distracting or dismissing them (unless the matter is truly urgent), because they have to stop and speak! I know, right… try and break the habit of responding like that to a kid crying! Not easy!! But… worth it on the long run to help develop greater emotional well being.”

Crying is actually very beneficial

According to naturopath, Barbara Filokostas, crying is a crucial function of our nervous system that has a significant impact on our health, including lowering blood pressure.

A study by the University of Florida found that 88.8 per cent of people feel better after releasing pent up emotions through crying, which makes it more effective than any antidepressant drug on the market.

Share your comments below.

Image: Shutterstock

  • nothing like a good cry to get things off y our chest!


  • Nothing wrong with having a good cry if you need to. Natures way of releasing the stress, even if it does stress others I guess. Nothings perfect.


  • I find that a good cry does help a lot of the time. I prefer to cry when I’m alone so I don’t upset my husband who is battling cancer. If he sees me cry a piece of him breaks he told me so I try to stay strong for him.


  • I agree, sometimes you just need a good cry. My son often sees me cry or will comment… did that make you cry, Mum? We do cry in our family, all of us. We encourage it and talk about it.


  • I let my kids cry – unless they’re getting too upset, when I calm them down.


  • It can be a good way to relieve your tension, stress, anxiety etc. I have a favourite place I have when staying at one place. Hearing parents continuously yelling loudly at their children brings back nightmares of my Dad doing the same to my brother and I.


  • Better to find the cause of the crying and talk and cuddle without judgement, let them see if they can solve their own problem in a constructive way. Also prevention is best with good sleep and healthy diets, some kids just cry from overload of stimulants whether it is from sugary foods or external situations or people.


  • Crying is certainly a good release. I guess it’s just a case of balance … we all have to learn to delicate tug of war between being emotional and being strong!


  • I agree, I have been very careful to let my kids cry when they need to, I have started just giving them a cuddle and telling them “mummy is here” until they are ready to finish crying. I try to head any other upsets off by distraction or reminding them to use their words or asking would they like help to try to stop the cries of frustration


  • I agree with letting kids cry when they need to “feel their feelings”. The problem stems from peoples reaction to a crying child with fussing and coddling every little whimper and fall. My kids cry when they need to and I won’t step in unless they’re getting hysterical. Gotta say though, this mum needs to read up on tears because toxins are not physically released in our tears. They’re simply salty water.


  • depends on the child and situation. being strong isn’t something to be ashamed of either


  • I kind of agree with some of this. It’s important for kids to cry, so let them cry. I think it’s sooky tantrum crying that should be stopped


  • Same here. Finding somewhere private can be hard when you are at somebody’s place staying. Much better that a very fiery verbal outburst through no fault of the person who cops it. They say you hurt the person you love the most, and it is quite true in my case. One person has worked out my quiet time spot so she comes to make sure I haven’t fallen or anything because I have bad balance.


  • Crying won’t hurt, but cuddles will help.


  • Sometimes I just want to be alone and have a good cry. I feel so much better afterwards


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