A mum of two asks why we are always so insistent on telling kids not to cry.
Sharing on Katesurfs Facebook page she begins by saying, “It makes me sad when I hear people praising a child for not crying.”
“Crying is a completely natural emotion that should not be suppressed. A child who holds in a cry is not a big girl or a big boy or brave or being well behaved or even happier, for that matter… an upset child who holds in a cry is a little boy or little girl who felt the urge to cry, but suppressed the cry either because the child wasn’t comfortable enough to express his or her emotions or has been taught that it’s not acceptable to cry in front of people.
An Emotional Release
When a person cries, the emotional release is so great that there’s a chemical change in the body and toxins are physically released through tears! A child is born to naturally cry when upset in order to heal from any emotional or physical traumas. Because of our own baggage (and believe me, I had plenty to work through) we distract, bribe, threat or even punish to make the child stop.
Just let the kids cry when they’re upset! See our tendencies to try and stop a child from crying and be aware of what we’re doing. Do we need them to stop crying for any particular reason? Or, is their crying just pushing our buttons? Even when we ask them nicely “Oh, what’s the matter?” Or say “It’s ok”, we’re actually distracting or dismissing them (unless the matter is truly urgent), because they have to stop and speak! I know, right… try and break the habit of responding like that to a kid crying! Not easy!! But… worth it on the long run to help develop greater emotional well being.”
Crying is actually very beneficial
According to naturopath, Barbara Filokostas, crying is a crucial function of our nervous system that has a significant impact on our health, including lowering blood pressure.
A study by the University of Florida found that 88.8 per cent of people feel better after releasing pent up emotions through crying, which makes it more effective than any antidepressant drug on the market.
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