Mum claims she was verbally abused by a midwife for being gay, soon after welcoming her baby.

Aussie mum Kirsty shared her experience on Facebook, revealing she was at her most vulnerable after a grueling 17-hour labour to deliver her daughter with partner, Roz, when the incident happened.

“A midwife made derogatory remarks to me because I am gay,” Kirsty revealed in her post. “She waited until I was alone and naked in the shower after a 17 hour labour before she attacked.”

Kirsty, who shared her story in support of the #TheyGetToVote awareness campaign, explains how the midwife initially had an issue with her leaving her baby with “a friend” while she went to shower.

When Kirsty explained Roz was actually her partner of 17 years, the midwife made her opinion of the couple’s relationship very clear.

“She said, ‘You’re disgusting for wanting to carry on this farce of two mums,’” Kirsty told Kidspot. “I was so shocked I said nothing. I was silent. I was literally at my most vulnerable.”

Kirsty later filed a complaint against the midwife, and was told staff would undergo “ethics training”.

Kirsty hopes speaking out about her experience will highlight how important the vote to legalise same sex marriage is.

“I struggle to come terms with the fact that people would actually vote to stop Roz and I from being each other’s next of kin, from accessing our joint assets in the event that one of us dies,” she wrote.

“That people would prevent me from planning the funeral of my wife or that they would put either of us in the position where we might have to fight to keep our children together in the only home they’ve ever known if one of us is dead.

“I can’t even describe how it feels to know that my personal, intimate relationship is up for judgement by every adult I come across.

“I don’t want pity. I don’t want platitudes. I just want people to think clearly about what they’re doing to actual people when they engage with this.”

Love is Love! #theygettovote

Share your comments below.

Stock photo

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.
  • Midwives are often ghastly. This doesn’t surprise me.


  • Good on her for putting in a complaint. Midwives, drs and nurses should all be impartial to family situations.


  • I am glad to hear she put forth a complaint. That behavior is unacceptable.


  • OMG… I would take my complaint further… what right does anyone have to comment. As long as the parents of the child provide them with love, home and all their needs are et, then it is nobody’s business…


  • Oh My God, that is a terrible situation. I’m a little gobsmacked and can’t believe a midwife would say something like that. The first issue of leaving your baby with someone to have a shower! Really? I imagine we’ve all done that after birth. What was the other option? This is an unusual situation and one I imagine was upsetting. Best that it was reported and can be dealt with.


  • Whether true or not the midwife is supposedly a professional and should not make any remark. I also don’t think with the voting on legalising gay marriages is not going to change anything. It will only make it legal on paper. It won’t make people change their opinions on the matter.


  • I will probably get condemned for saying this, but considering the timing concerning the survey and the propaganda being spread, I don’t believe this story. It is convenient that it was said in a shower room and there were no witnesses. I have just seen some very ugly things circulating surrounding the survey we are currently completing and a lot of them are comprised of stories that have been falsified to support a particular view point to try and sway voters.

    • Yeah like Tony Abbott’s false claims that he was headbutted due because of the vote.


  • Regardless of the midwife’s personal views – she should have not expressed them to this new mother – stepping over the line big time!


  • wow that midwife was clearly out of line – if you don’t agree with a lovely new baby being loved by two parents who love each other then you are seriously messed up! – I think that just making the midwife go through ethics training is not enough of a punishment for the cruelness she showed to Kristy


  • I think the midwife’s personal opinions should be kept to herself. She was not professional in her capacity as a midwife. I also think it would be horrible to be constantly judged on your relationship.


  • Although I agree that the midwife acted wrongly at that time, the rest of the story is also wrong. Any couples living together especially for 17 years automatically have the right to keep their children, plan for a funeral and have access to half the other’s assets. I do wish people would stick to the truth and not colour things. By the way there is an equality issue in all this too and it’s not if those who are not heterosexual can marry. It is plain and simple – two women living together will never amass the sort of money that two men will – and a man & a woman will be right in the middle of amassing money for all their children’s futures. Where’s the equality in that?


  • I am wondering why this birth story was brought up and surrounding the plebiscite …is it a story about her birth and the treatment by this horrible midwife or is it purely publicity for the gay right vote. ?


  • they should just do their job and keep their personal opinions out of it. now this couple’s birth experience will always be a little tainted by this woman’s opinon


  • Let’s hope the “ethics training” she’ll be getting, will be of some help!! She really needs it!


  • Totally unacceptable !! The midwife should be laid off because of disfunctioning.


Post a comment
Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by your browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating