Mum explains why it is important we put our partners first before the kids.

Lori Lim is a Women’s holistic counsellor, kinesiologist and mother and explains why she believes you should put your partner first. She actually shares some great points. Even though, I for one, know it’s not something I would consider. It does make a lot of sense.

She explains, “Yes this is shocking and rather confronting to read. But as parents we need to hear it.”

Lori is a strong believer in, “Your children joined your partnership, not the other way around.”

Be A Role Model

Lori continues: Your relationship with your partner will be the model through which your children perceive relationships and intimacy, “As parents, the way you handle conflict and stress as a couple and within the family unit serves as a powerful role model, which a child will replicate when they step into the world.”

Your children will one day leave the nest and you will be left alone with your partner, Lori makes a strong argument here, “If you don’t invest daily with your partner, eventually you will be left with an empty home. You will find yourself living with a partner who you feel you no longer know, leaving you both to rebuild from square one. ”

Answering the age old question, “How can you invest in your husband when you’re both so exhausted from the never-ending demands of raising a family?” Lori writes, If you noticed you were driving your car one day and it was running low on petrol, would you keep driving for days or would you pull over and fill it up? I’m guessing you’d make a stop at the servo, no matter how tired or busy you were, because you know the consequences are you’ll break down somewhere on the side of the road with no petrol. That becomes a non-negotiable priority for you.

Unfortunately, it’s harder to see the supplies of our relationships are dwindling — we can live in denial and hope we don’t ‘crash and burn’. But until we make our relationship a priority, we are skating on thin ice.”


Marriage First, Child Second

International TV personality, Giuliana Rancic confessed in an interview with Us Weekly magazine that she puts ‘Marriage First, Child Second’

Giuliana said, “We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second,” Rancic told US Weekly. “That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

 Do you agree? Who comes first in your family?

Share your comments below.

Read Lori’s full post here.

More related stories:


Image via shutterstock

  • Agree with some of this. But at the same time I don’t. There should be no prioritising. NEeds of everyone should be met.


  • If you put your children as a first priority, then when they leave home, there will be no priority there as hubby will be no longer interested. If you love your partner, then he comes first and your progeny second.


  • It starts when a baby arrives. Feeding and various needs take a lot of time and energy. Maybe if more parents shared responsibility in parenting in general there would be better opportunity for couples to connect with other.


  • Partnership and putting each other first is an absolute must – everything else flows on.

    • This is also a good role model for children – shows them how relationships work well.


  • I totally agree. So true indeed that kids will leave one time the nest and you and your partner are left alone. My mum and dad gave very much that example, they’re in their eighties now and nearly 60 year married and still very much in love !
    Ideally the love for our children should be build on the love for our partners.


  • I get what she’s saying but I don’t think you need to put your husband first just not last. If your husband also puts the kids first and you second not last you will both be on the same page. Having time alone together and trying to meet each other’s needs is not putting him first just like having alone time with your children and meeting their daily needs may not necessarily be putting them first. I believe strongly in family first that includes children and partner.


  • I hear what shes saying but I very much think it depends on the couple.
    Sadly my kids Dad was all about himself. I put him first for years until I woke up to the fact that everything was always about him. Its also important to teach your children that they should never give up their dreams to put their partner first. You are important too and you need to put you and your kids first at times.


  • I also agree with the article. Hubby and I were together for 9 year before we had children. That is along time when it is just the two of you, then all of a sudden another being is present and you need to spend time with them. We often arrange for weekends away with out our children. I think its very important to have that time to recharge and reconnect.


  • Agree with this article wholeheartedly. It’s amazing how often the children come first and the partner gets second best, and then everyone wonders what happened when once the children have grown up and left home that the parents divorce. It’s because they no longer have anything in common.


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