Constance Hall shares an open letter to her 7 year old daughter who got upset with her for not letting her watch The Bachelor.

Dear Miss Billie-Violet,

Last night you got angry at me. You told me that it isn’t fair that I don’t let you watch The Bachelor.

I know right? It’s the Bachelor. I let you watch all sorts of shows, you often hear swearing on TV and you don’t bat an eye lid at nudity.

So why have I gone all hard arse on The Bachelor?

Because sweet thing and listen very carefully, your mum is rarely wise so you must pay attention.

You go to school and you are asked to run race against your best friend, you get into class and you offered a prize if you are the BEST artist in the class, you brush your hair in the bath tub with your friends and decide to Hold a COMPETITION on who’s hair is the longest.

I have had to reside myself and give in to the great competition that is our society.
Your little lives are full to the brim with competing against each other, sometimes it’s a miracle that kids leave childhood with any friends at all.

But do you know what one thing you should NEVER ever compete for is?


Because there are no winners and there are no losers with love. In your life you will love a man and he will love someone else, it happens to everyone. But that someone else didn’t win and you didn’t lose. You might meet someone else, you might decide you like women, you might just love being alone. But you will never lose.

And do you want to know the most important reason I won’t let you watch The Bachelor?
Because the day your friends fall in love should bring you SOOOOOO much joy. The absolute funnest part of falling in love is debriefing and dissecting and repeating every single thing that he said to you with…… Your friends, because they WANT to know, they love the fact that you are in love. They don’t sit in a corner at a cocktail party staring at you and bitching about you to other girls who they also hate because they are all COMPETING for love.

That’s just not how it works.

So you go and read a book or something while mummy watches The Bachelor on her own because I’m old enough know that it is fiction and I love a bit of shit fiction but your fresh young impressionable brain should be planning how you and every other little sweet girl you know are going to join forces and lead this beautiful world instead of poisoning yourself with shit TV.

So be mad if you must Miss Billie-Violet, but one day when your best friend and you are up until 3am Facebook stalking the boy she is in love with I will listen to you giggling and barge in for my apology.”

Con’s post has rang true to many parents, it has been shared nearly 2K times and received over 24K reactions in just one hour of her posting.

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  • I must admit that ive given up on the show. My reason…. the bitchy females.


  • The show is not meant for be for kids to watch. Parents should use their discretion whether they let the girls or boys watch it.


  • Brilliant letter from Tracy Hardy. I find these competition for love shows and some others are trashy.
    Your daughter is fortunate to have you, you are responsible and don’t give into the “everyone else is allowed to”. You don’t need approval of parenting from your child or from other parents now, rest assured, your daughter will thank you later!


  • This is a great letter & some excellent points are made – I have to say if my daughter wanted to watch the batchelor (which thankfully she doesn’t) I’d be tempted to borrow this :)


  • I’ve never seen the Bachelor, but when this show is about love and competition, I agree with Constance that it isn’t what we want to teach our kids.


  • Interesting perspective, thank you for sharing.


  • I totally agree with everything constance has said. Love isnt a competition and you shouldn’t have to go on public TV to find your love.
    This show is horrible to watch and the selection of women on the show is very narrow.


  • I love this. We don’t watch it in our house at all. I’m all for love and I find this fake, contrived, showy … all the things I don’t believe love is about. Love is a slow burn, or a smack-in-your-face wow attraction with chemistry. I find this show to be funny and laughable, but for all the wrong reasons. Good on you for sticking to your guns!


  • Its reality tv. its all fake and set up. I think it can promote good teenage discussion such as how the women on this show do not get a say at all it is all led by who the man wants to date and his choice of date and who he wants to speak to etc. Also how not to behave and how ridiculous you look all lusting after an ordinary man. you can teach social skills very well from this as it shows so many good examples of what not to do!


  • I also agree that The Bachelor is not viewing for young children!

    • I just do not find it entertaining, let alone all the other reasons to not watch this type of show.


  • This show proves how far we still need to go for women to be respected as smart individual beings with a brain and not a prize to look pretty and be used physically.


  • Love it!! Where has childhood innocents gone when kids these days are surrounded by so much fiction of TV. I feel sorry for these reality shows and there so-called ‘celebrity Stars’. No one should have compete to prove their worth in love or life. Keep up the honesty Constance!


  • I do not waste my time on this type of show as it does not interest me. It is dramatised for ratings and drama sells. There is competition in all of society, but it does depend on the motivation for appearing on the show. Some people go on these shows to launch a career by getting a profile. It is such a media savvy world and having a presence is important to many people that go on these shows. We live in a democracy and people go on the show with free will.


  • Well said Constance. You are spot on


  • Have never watched this show and never would. But this mother is right to point out to her daughter that the show is trash – and her daughter would be right to ask why is her mother watching it. I agree with the mother’s comments to her daughter, but can’t understand her watching it.


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