A dad says he’s sick to the stomach about the way his wife is treating their toddler when she wants to breastfeed, and says the demands his wife makes on their two-year-old aren’t normal.

The dad admits his wife is having a hard time breastfeeding their toddler daughter and dealing with a lack of sleep. But he says the way his daughter has to ask to be breastfed is out of line.

“For months now, my wife will not feed our daughter (almost 2) until she ‘asks nicely’ and says ‘please’,” the concerned dad explained in a forum. “Please but in a raised tone? No feed. Nice tone but forgot to say please? No feed.

“My wife is adamant she is doing nothing wrong, but hearing our daughter cry because her mum won’t feed her because she hasn’t said the right word turns my stomach. I am not there all the time but hear this regularly.

“If I ask her not to do this I am shouted at, or worse. Is my wife’s approach normal? Should I be worried about our daughters’s attachment with her mother?”

His post attracted hundreds of comments from mums who are also concerned about his wife’s behaviour.

“No it’s not normal. Is the boob a comfort thing or is she still having this as a replacement for milk? It seems cruel to me. She’s still a baby!” one mum commented.

“Oh. This sounds incredibly sad,” said another.

But others encouraged the dad to be more supportive.

“Just let her get on with it however works for her. Your DD does not need to be feeding at all now anyway. Fine to allow her to, and fine not to. Your DD will understand what is expected.”

What do you think? Share your opinion in the comments below. 

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  • I think maybe the mum doesn’t want to feed her child anymore and wants to stop but just isn’t sure how. There is alot better ways if this is the case & upsetting the child isn’t the best way to go about it. Hope she can sort it out soon


  • It is amazing how much is learnt by toddlers by the way their parents behave. From what is being said, there is certainly no good example of manners being shown by the parents. Perhaps showing good manners might be a quicker way for the toddler to learn them herself.


  • We women are a fickle bunch but the good news for you is that it won’t be long before its all over and you will have to find something new to whinge about


  • Maybe it’s the Mum’s way of trying to wean her daughter off the breast. It’s not the right way to do it but maybe she doesn’t know any other way.


  • Not many people are still breast feeding when their child can talk. Maybe Mum is feeling touched out, wants her body back, needs to stop?

    • I agree, many mums will deny/refuse the breast all together at the age of this child….are we going to suggest that is rude too ?

      • I agree that there are more layers to this story.


  • I’m sure it’s not as simple as stated here. It’s sad and they obviously need some help.


  • Devastating for this little person!


  • The fact that the kid is old enough to be able to ask is an issue in itself. Feeding a child that old is just plain weird and there’s no scientific evidence to suggest it’s beneficial.


  • I feel sad for this child as correct understanding of words and politeness is not understood at this age let alone a full vocabulary. I have a 2 year old and am lucky she has a great range of words and can speak in full sentences although some of her friends can only say up to 50 words and they are over 2. If she doesn’t want to BF just give milk in a bottle, offer food or give a dummy. Don’t patronise a kid due to being tired. Or give the kid the words to say so they can copy ????‍????????


  • l feel like a lot of the responses here are coming from people who do not know what it is like to have a two year old come and pull your boob out all. the. time. Then climb and rock all over you. It is exhausting, but she is still choosing to do whats best for bub.


  • Feeding can still give a toddler 30% of nutrients and is an amazing thing (but also annoying at this age). But at this age, she can go without it and it will not harm her. Sounds like they need to have a discussion on what the actual issue is (touching, manners?), and think about:
    1. stopping feeding
    2. expressing
    3. the requirements bub needs (perhaps ‘ta’ is easier but still polite?)


  • A 2 year old does not need discipline at that age. They need love, care and trust.


  • A 2 year old will be eating solids so she should still be getting her requirements. But, this requires communication amongst the parents in a calm manner!!


  • I’m all for teaching manners but under two is still a baby… this makes me sad.


  • I agree some double standards here when she wants to teach her toddler manners and shouts at the husband.
    Lack of sleep may cause tis mum to react more intolerant.
    Nothing wrong with teaching manners, but this is something we do accross all contexts and with love and patience in an age appropriate way and by living the example.


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