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I’ve just had another call from Father In Law, this time asking what type and size of bras I should buy Mother In Law. Not a conversation I ever planned on having with my FIL, and I actually gave in and offered to go and do the shopping myself.

For several years we have known that all is not well with Mother in Law. First she started retelling the same stories, then it was weird gifts, I mean, what 8 year old boy doesn’t want a mini alphabet board book for his birthday, and what 5yo girl doesn’t want one of those shiny, one size fits all tops from the sellers in the middle of the shopping centre. Then we progressed to a stage where I wouldn’t leave the kids with her, I was the evil daughter in law for that, but I was worried she’d take my daughter out somewhere and forget all about her! Eventually I was getting regular calls from the alarm company when she couldn’t set or turn off the alarm without setting it off. Finally she messed up the books for their business so badly that FIL had to admit there was a problem. A year later she was so bad she was admitted to a high care facility.

So, how do you comfort your husband when he goes to visit his mother and she thinks he’s someone else and tells him that none of her sons come to visit. I can’t take the children back to her home for another visit, they were too upset last time, so instead we get FIL to pick her up and bring her out, but she doesn’t dress properly and she doesn’t really know the grandkids and last time she upset our 7yo daughter by refusing to close the toilet door in the restaurant!

Basically Alzheimers is the pits.


Posted by beagle, 24th May 2013


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  • I can understand where you are coming from. Alzheimers is a cruel disease. It takes its toll on other family members. It is mentally draining for those who care for their loved ones. My Mum had it and lived in semi-independent situation for 2 1/2 years before being placed in a high care age facility where she live for a couple of months before passing away. She remembered me until pretty close to the end. In High Care they should help her get dressed I don’t know what happens if she refuses though. Is it possible that the toilet she uses doesn’t have a door that closes it in close to her? That may be part of the issue. Some hate feeling closed in.

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  • What a terribly hard time for you and your family.

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  • I’m so sorry your all going through this. My heart goes out to you.

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  • gosh you must be exhausted from all this… I wouldn’t be able to imagine

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