My husband and I had our family through IVF and we have slowly come to the realisation that our family is complete. The issue is we still have 2 frozen embyos left. We always said that we would donate them to science (because without scientific research, our children would not be alive), but my daughter came from a frozen embyo transfer and I can’t stop thinking about that. I think it’s just so amazing that someone who spent their first 6 months in a freezer now has their own individual laugh and quirky habits and I would like to donate our frozen embyos to another couple. It would give the couple a chance at a family and the embryos a chance at life. Unfortunately, my husband can’t get his head around ‘his’ children being out there and being raised by other people. And so we keep paying for the frozen embryos to remain frozen because we are also frozen and can’t really come to a decision.

I know that if we keep putting it off, they won’t be any use to anyone so any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly received by us both at this stage.

Thank you.

Posted anonymously, 28th February 2014

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  • I don’t really have any advice as I have not experienced what you are. I know babies that have been born from a donor egg and it was a miracle after many years of devastating loss. But both you and your husband need to be comfortable with your decision.


  • just so good


  • I always say, it’s your Dna but not your child.
    I want to donate my eggs later in life, they were the words that someone told me that changed my ,I don’t.
    I was the same as your hubby!


  • wonderful


  • My husband and I have 3 frozen embryos and its always on my mind as to what to do with any that may remain. Ideally I’d like a 2nd child so if we are successful with our transfer then we will be faced with the same discussions. It is a very hard decision, especially when both parties are thinking polar opposite. At this stage I’m thinking donating to science because like you I know that without medical research my son would never have been in my life. Emotionally I’m not sure that I would be ok knowing that my son may have other siblings that he will never meet. My preference would be to donate eggs rather than embryos but I guess time will tell. I hope you and your husband can find a happy medium with what is a difficult decision


  • You husband has to see the positive side of things about the gift of life and giving uncondiontally it isn’t about him and his kids running around … He won’t even know who they are …. The sooner you do it the better.


  • to be able to give another couple a chance at a family would be such an uplifting thing to do, as would donating them to science in hope for finding more solutions. I would not want to go against my partners wishes though, as it may cause further issues


  • but i do hope you will eventually find the answer you are looking for


  • i agree on the comment below


  • hmm.. I might not be the right person to be giving insights on this


  • If you have finished having your family, throught the long hard process of IVF, you know the pain and heartbreak you both went through to get there. What if you could ease someone else’s pain by helping them to have a family too?


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