I have just been invited to my husband’s 2nd cousins Bridal shower/kitchen tea. Now I haven’t been to one for a long time but the expectations are just over the top. It’s a Chanel themed party complete with hired marquee. The invite came complete with a quote from Coco Chanel saying “In case of any doubt over dress in your best cocktail dress” so hence that is how I’m expected to dress. Also accompanying the invite was the Myer Gift registry with exorbitant prices. I feel I have to spend at least $100. Am I just out of touch with reality or is this the norm when it comes to bridal showers/kitchen teas?

Posted by damish70, 4th August 2014

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  • Like Baby showers , I have never been to one , so never understood the significance. Maybe just say to the bride , this will be your wedding gift. With the dress , use your imagination , no one knows how much you are wearing , so I think use your own judgement and do what is comfortable . If she is your friend , I am sure you can talk to her.


  • How greedy its only the party before the party, I know its exciting to get married but come on this is greedy i hope you just give her a voucher not buy anythng you cannot afford.


  • I really dislike that sort of thing and have even turned down invitations to weddings where the bride and groom want the guests to over indulge them – if it was me I wouldn’t go.


  • If you’re not close to her, then I’d consider either going and taking a nice gift that you can afford, or making an excuse for not going, and sending a gift through the mail. While it’s all very well to plan special “bridal showers” to make the bride feel special, it’s incredibly selfish to expect people attending to spend a fortune if they can’t afford it.


  • Unfortunately these “bridal showers” are becoming more and more in vogue and some people make them wildly extravagant. I feel all these extra parties that people have are a bit over the top – but that’s just my opinion. It’s wonderful to celebrate but some people seem to try and mimic some of the reality TV stars. I would feel uncomfortable if I got an invitation to a Chanel themed party, but that’s because I feel the quote would make me feel uneasy about what to select to wear etc.


  • This does seem wildly out of scale with all the kitchen teas/bridal showers I’ve been to – mine was brunch at a nice (but inexpensive) restaurant with half a dozen friends and no presents expected or given. But all my friends had much smaller ones than you’re describing. I’d wear a nice dress and choose an affordable present, even if it’s not on the registry. And if you’re not close, I definitely wouldn’t spend that much.


  • I didnt even know you had a bridal shower i thought it was a hens night where you went out and just got drunk and had a laugh.
    Surely you dont have to supply a gift dont you do that for the actual wedding or is she double dipping ???
    I think if you believe your going to feel uncomfortable i would just make a excuse and say you cant make it but hope she has a lovely day/night.


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