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Im so sad and lonely I had a partner who I lived with for 2 yrs we had a child together and he left me 10 months ago not for any other reason than his 2 older kids 13 & 11 where coming to my place every 2nd wkend and weren’t happy coming here they wanted him all to themselves so he left he still tells me im the love of his life and wants to work things out, wants me to move to a bigger place with him wants me to have his children every 2nd wkend but he has forgotten that he left me because of them with his baby son. I didn’t get a mothers day my son didn’t get fathers day he didn’t show up to his sons christening because he could get his 2 children that wkend and I already changed the date once before for this same reason wasn’t with us xmas morning no new yr nothing it all went to his older children im so hurt because yes I love him but really have been turned right off his children. even today hes texting me saying he loves me and cares about me and his son but where is he if he cares??? so sick of being in tears every day any suggestions its my bday next Friday no dought in my mind he wont be there for me and just go get his kids because its his wkend to have them so resentful…


Posted by 191joannes, 7th February 2015


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  • dont know what to do

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  • Thing called tough love ,look after u & your baby is all u need .If it’s meant to be it will happen ,if he can see u strong committed to ur child .Might make him think how wonderful u are & there are boundries that u can set .

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  • well he needs to step up! he needs to do what he says that he will do and put ALL of his children on the same level. The best thing that he can do is fix up with you and prove that he is trustworthy and work on building a relationship with everyone that is based on respect. His kids are twisting his arm. They need to respect you and he needs to enforce this and show this to them. You should go and do something as a family. You have to show these kids that they can trust you and love you and your relationship with them won’t mean that they don’t love their biological mother. Go for a picnic, go to the cinema, start making bonds as a family. If he won’t step up, you may have to move on as crying about this is only hurting you and your child. I feel sorry for you sweetie! Maybe give him one more chance to fix this and then if he won’t, move on. I agree that you guys need counselling as blending families is difficult and these are teenage children that you are dealing with. They are harder to persuade into liking you. Try to get to know them and connect with them and see if things change. They are probably scared that they are losing their dad because he has a new baby now after it has only been them two for so long. Try to have some understanding, compassion and maturity to deal with this. I know that this situation is so hard but reset it all. Let go of the past and try to make a brand new future.

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  • sounds like a difficult predicament. Am sorry that you are feeling so low – maybe speak to your family and friends. But as hard as it may be, you might be better off without him

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  • No I didn’t have a very nice bday yesterday he sent me flowers and rand and said he would be there tonight after work but guess what he didn’t show up and not only that my little baby is sick so I just stayed home on my own and nursed my bubba all day today valentines day more text saying he is sorry forget it im to hurt by this man I just have to move on and show him I deserve better and he can not treat me and his son like dirt.

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  • I hope you had a good birthday with your little man

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  • I feel for you as it must be very difficult. I would suggest that you speak to a professional as a family.

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  • It is so hard when your. Partner already has older kids. It doesn’t sound like he’s making much effort to balance their needs with yours, though. I suggest family counselling, or you may have to find a way to move on without him.

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  • You are not being treated very fairly by this man who was your partner. He should let you know where you stand one way or the other. You have so much life ahead of you. Is he still with his wife or former partner. If so you need to make a clean break and get on with your life.


    • No his wife left him for another man and is still living with this man, know I understand why she left him was probably as hurt as iam

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  • Totally agree GEEKMUM. I know it sounds harsh, but this guy sounds like he is always going to take you on an emotional roller coaster. Children especially need to have people they can depend and rely upon in their lives. As harsh as it sounds I would focus on yourself and your son and focus on ways to move forward without him. You need to divorce all emotion from this decision for the sake of your mental health and your son. I would also make sure you have plenty of support around you and maybe seek counselling etc.

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  • As horrible as it is, he sounds like he is all talk and actions speak louder than words. If he really loved and cared, he would make the effort to be there. I think the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to be strong and focus on the two of you.

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