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My husband & I have been together for 14 years and married for 8 years. When we first started living together my husband’s father told him that I was only there for his money and that if he moved in with me I would take everything and leave him with nothing. As the years went on, I thought they could see that I wasn’t the person they thought I was especially once we announced our engagement. My inlaws seemed really happy, that was until we sent the invites out and suddenly none of them could come. I put that behind me and we moved interstate and away from them. Over the past few years I have tried so hard to make them like me but nothing I ever do seems good enough. To my face, my MIL in particular is quite nice to me, but then I hear what she really thinks when she talks about me behind my back. It’s horrible to hear things like, my inlaws are hoping that we get divorced :( After 14 years, should I keep trying to make them like me or is it time to give up and not care anymore?


Posted anonymously, 7th March 2014


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  • After 14 years l would give up,it’s their loss!

    Reply

  • Does your husband comment about the situation at all? Maybe he thinks it best to stay away too. I know somebody who was treated a bit that way. Guess who had debts the wife paid. MIL didn’t offer to help either.

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  • When I first got married ( a long time ago ), I was a bit like you , a people pleaser. The problem with this , is eventually you will end up being unhappy and miserable because you are not being yourself. For you MIL to be nice and talk behind you proves she maybe two-faced. I think it is time to be yourself , because if anyone tried very hard to make me like them , then I start getting suspicious . Liking people so a personal choice , so your perception is incorrect . Perhaps they are not sure who you are hence they are talking about you etc. Be careful and be yourself .

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  • I think the issue is theirs, not yours, so this is not your cross to bare. Don’t indulge nasty people by giving them a part of yourself.

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  • Some great answers given! Thanks so much for sharing this!

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  • My own family don’t like me, so don’t feel too bad. Can you possibly live your lives without having anything to do with your inlaws?

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  • family doesnt like me

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  • Enjoy your life with your family and do not worry about them. They need to respect you to be a part of your life. Care less and they may just change their ways.

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  • well you just have to do what you can and don’t worry about this pity behaviour

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  • Those that Matter don’t mind and those that Mind don’t matter … Focus on the people that accept you for who you are.

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  • why bother my family in law hates me also I couldn’t care less that’s there problem and if its not me they out someone else always bagging someone just shows you what sort of people they are. give up waist of time there the ones missing out not you. you got the man and the kids

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  • It sounds like you have done a lot to try and get your in-laws to like you, without success. You can’t make others change, only they can do that. I’d suggest remain polite to your in-laws, but don’t keep making a huge effort. Do things that remind you that you are a beautiful person, like buy yourself a special something or get a massage. And don’t think about your in-laws – they are the ones with the problem – not you.

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  • nice story

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  • great story to read

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  • you cant change nobody,evil is evil

    Reply

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