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I think we as parents make our own decisions on how we raise our children. I have noticed very feminine little boys and very masculine little girls, some have grown to remain so and others have become “true to their gender”. I have witnessed parents trying to push gender type toys and activities and verbally call their son a sissy and to me that is abuse. It is natural for children to copy what their parents or siblings do, be they boys or girls. I remember a neighbor insulted me and my son when at about age 12 I let him have his ear pierced and put blond streaks in his hair. This man was enraged and told me I was turning my son into “poof” and said he would not be welcome in his home unless he removed the earring, he had a son the same age and seemed rather threatened by my son having an earring and streaked hair.

My children were taught independent living skills regardless of their gender. As children they did play with their “girl toys” and “boy toys” and swapped toys and gender roles in play, this to me is normal. I remember when my son was very upset as a little two year old that he did not get a “baby doll” for Christmas and his sisters did. My mother posted him a baby doll of his own on her way home from her Christmas visit. We still laugh about this.

My adult children are very well rounded people, wonderful parents and are helpmates to their spouses, they can and do share all home duties. They were not raised to be useless.
I know of many men who can’t cook or keep up home duties because “men don’t do that” and were not taught to. I think it is healthy that so many of this generation of young adults have been raised without this gender defining rules that perhaps their parents were and can step up and help their wife or husband.

About 25 years ago, I worked in as office with a really sweet lady who was actually transgender and I was so surprised when she told me. She was raised an only child, a son and became a carpenter, just has her father wanted his son to do. She said that all her life she wanted to be a girl, she felt she was a girl. She was teased a lot as a child because she liked girly things and girly play. As an adult she had hormone therapy and then surgery to become a woman. She said her father would have nothing to do with her because of the choice she had made to become true to herself. She wore very pretty earrings, family heirlooms that her mother gave her, as acceptance as her daughter.

All of humanity needs to be loved and accepted, as well as respected regardless of their gender differences.


Posted by Tene, 19th November 2014


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  • Couldn’t agree more. Support your kids, give them toys, not girls toys or boys toys. I seen a mother tell her. 5 year old he couldn’t have a doll because dolls are for girls, I was horrified

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  • Tene, a lovely post, thank you. The world needs more tolerant, intelligent individuals such as yourself. One of my best friends recently came out as transgender and to me, all it mean was changing my phonebook entry to a new name, but her own parents remind me of that other parent in your story. I’ve encouraged my own son to be true to himself and learn skills of any kind and was lucky enough to have parents of a similar mindset to yourself – I left home able to cook, clean, sew and so on as a single male.

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  • Respect for individuals is important.


    • Teaching respect begins when they are little.

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  • i agree LOVE IS LOVE!

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  • It’s sad in this world how wrongly people are treated especially with gender stereotypes, People commit suicide due to not being accepted as the person they are inside. I hope one day everyone will be accepted…

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  • I agree it is important to allow children to play with whatever toys they choose rather than restrict them to gender stereotypical toys. I intend to raise my son to be able to cook, clean, iron and shop also. It’s just so sad trying to force children to not express themselves and explore their own personality and feelings. If my son or daughter grew up feeling they were the wrong gender i would feel terrible for them as I know their life would be more difficult, but I would support them to be whoever they wanted to be.

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  • Yes, I don’t see how forcing kids/people into gender roles helps anyone.

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  • Thank you for your story. i very much enjoyed this read

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