I think we as parents make our own decisions on how we raise our children. I have noticed very feminine little boys and very masculine little girls, some have grown to remain so and others have become “true to their gender”. I have witnessed parents trying to push gender type toys and activities and verbally call their son a sissy and to me that is abuse. It is natural for children to copy what their parents or siblings do, be they boys or girls. I remember a neighbor insulted me and my son when at about age 12 I let him have his ear pierced and put blond streaks in his hair. This man was enraged and told me I was turning my son into “poof” and said he would not be welcome in his home unless he removed the earring, he had a son the same age and seemed rather threatened by my son having an earring and streaked hair.
My children were taught independent living skills regardless of their gender. As children they did play with their “girl toys” and “boy toys” and swapped toys and gender roles in play, this to me is normal. I remember when my son was very upset as a little two year old that he did not get a “baby doll” for Christmas and his sisters did. My mother posted him a baby doll of his own on her way home from her Christmas visit. We still laugh about this.
My adult children are very well rounded people, wonderful parents and are helpmates to their spouses, they can and do share all home duties. They were not raised to be useless.
I know of many men who can’t cook or keep up home duties because “men don’t do that” and were not taught to. I think it is healthy that so many of this generation of young adults have been raised without this gender defining rules that perhaps their parents were and can step up and help their wife or husband.
About 25 years ago, I worked in as office with a really sweet lady who was actually transgender and I was so surprised when she told me. She was raised an only child, a son and became a carpenter, just has her father wanted his son to do. She said that all her life she wanted to be a girl, she felt she was a girl. She was teased a lot as a child because she liked girly things and girly play. As an adult she had hormone therapy and then surgery to become a woman. She said her father would have nothing to do with her because of the choice she had made to become true to herself. She wore very pretty earrings, family heirlooms that her mother gave her, as acceptance as her daughter.
All of humanity needs to be loved and accepted, as well as respected regardless of their gender differences.
Posted by Tene, 19th November 2014