I live with my husband, 4 month old son, both my parents and recently both of my mum parents too. Thankfully the house is big enough that we are not tripping over each other. We generally keep to ourselves but on weekends or off time (both my parents work shifts) we are all together enjoying each others company. This is great and not a day goes by when i don’t appreciate my good fortune. However, My husband and I are a new family, we like our privacy. There seems to be an influx of advice and suggestions being thrown our way, whether i ask for it or not. More times than I’d like, both my mother and grandmother are standing over me while i change a nappy, or giving little mister a bath, or even playing with him. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the constant barrage of ‘suggestions’.
I love them both dearly but how do i explain to them that “no, hes not hungry, I’ve just fed him half an hour ago” “no, i wont give him another small feed” “yes, I’ve cleaned behind his ears” “no, i didn’t go to hard”
My grandmother, born and raised in India. Used to cover her babies in talcum powder. After every nappy, every bath, and sometimes in between. So my Nan, bless her, insists I use powder at every opportunity, completely disregarding my sons chronic dry skin. Of course i politely nod and ignore her.
My mother, although born and raised in India, had my younger brother and sister here in Australia, my brother had eczema as a baby so she understands why i don’t want to further dry out his delicate skin. But my mother also breast fed all 3 of us until we were about a year old. I unfortunately (despite my desperate tries) couldn’t breastfeed and I don’t think my mothers ever gotten over it (or forgiven me)
These are two very small situations I face, daily!
However, having both of my parents, and my grandparents all within arms reach is a very rare opportunity. And even though majority of their advice is unfounded and unreasonable. Some even outright ridiculous. Sometimes having someone who has been there and done that is very reassuring. Not to mention the unlimited babysitting opportunities
Posted anonymously, 27th September 2015