Hope yet for parents of difficult adult children living at home

5 Comments

My adult child has just moved out of home and life could not be any better for everyone; including the said child. At home, we have never been able to get her to do anything or abide by any simple house rules – chores, ring if not going to be home etc. It was unsustainable and we sat her down and had a discussion about the whole situation (one of many many discussions since teenage years – patience is a vital survival tool for every parent). We admitted that our home does not seem to be the place where she is able to learn the essential life skills to make her a better person. Moving out may allow her to do that better. She did not say anything at the discussion as is usual but something must have sank in. Amazingly she found a share household and she has blossomed. Does housework there, cooks (instead of eating fast food all the time), budgets and even complains about one other in the house leaving electrical items on even when not around and having long showers…..exactly what we have been saying all these years but not respected by her in our house. We did not kick her out; we sat her down and said you have the option of staying home (free board and everything) or moving out and being a more responsible independent adult. She knew it would cost her $$$ but I think deep down she wanted to grow too and she was just not doing that at home. Hope this helps other families who may have difficult adult children living at home. There is light at the end of the tunnel – moving out is not as bad as it may seem for everyone involved. Yes, it may cost your child $$$ but what they gain in growing as a person far outweighs the cost. Most important thing I found was not to scream and shout; sitting down and having an adult discussion about the true reality of the situation is so vital.

Posted anonymously, 22nd April 2016

5 Comments

- - mom165081 said
  - 24 Apr 2016
    11:02 pm
So glad things are working out for you. :look forward to seeing the changes over time .

- - mom90758 said
  - 24 Apr 2016
    1:22 pm
This is an amazing beginning! I think too that, the moment you move out, you need to face problems you didn’t have before. It’s a fantastic way to grow up. And your daughter knows she wasn’t thrown out. And that creates also a new start for your relationship, now at a completely different level.
Well done for talking to her in a such a direct and honest way. You did a wonderful job!

- - mum4107 said
  - 24 Apr 2016
    7:13 am
Good for you on helping your adult child grow. I’m glad its worked out do well

- - mom81879 said
  - 22 Apr 2016
    8:51 pm
Awesome, so many necessary life lessons to feel learnt by moving out of home. My sister in law still has her 30 yo son living with her, she pays for everything, yet he rules the roost. She says he isn’t ready to move out :/

- - mom56312 said
  - 22 Apr 2016
    2:20 pm
Congratulations for beliving in your child and helping her be the peron you knew she could be. It sometimes takes a push in the right direction for this to happen. It will do her a lot of good been independent… Its so easy for kids just to do nothing when living with their parents as they know Mum will do it if i dont…