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I had the best childhood. My mum was a primary school teacher, my dad a primary school principal and then there was my brother (2.5 years older than me) and me. We lived in country WA and moved towns every year or two. Because we moved so often my brother and I were very close. We used to build cubbies together, build and ride go-karts, play in sand pits our Dad built for us. It was awesome When I was 10 and my brother was turning 13 we went around Australia with our parents in a caravan for 6 months. It was great. When I finished school I moved to London (I was 19), on my own to work as a nanny. 2 weeks after I left my brother moved to Bangkok to teach English in a university there. Our poor parents, both of us leaving within 2 weeks of each other, and not just down the road but overseas. I returned after 2 years in London and 6 months in America, to follow in my parents footsteps and go to uni to study primary school teaching. My brother remained in Bangkok where he met the most gorgeous Thai girl. In April 1997 we flew to Bangkok to attend their wedding It was in June/July of that year that my world began to come crashing down. My mum was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. In January 1999 my brother, his wife and my 15 month old nephew returned to Perth to be with my mum. We watched as mum fought so gallantly but on 14th August 1999 (aged 54) we sat by her bedside as she lost her hard fought battle with cancer Within 6 months Dad had met someone else (who had also lost her partner to cancer in April 1999) and they married. It was a HUGE shock to my brother and I. Not only had we just lost our beloved mother but we now had to share our dear Dad with his new wife and her 5 kids. This of course brought my brother and I even closer together.

We spent the next 9 years banding together. Me inseparable from my brother, his wife and their 4 children. On the 24th october 2009 my brother turned 38 years old. On the 15th December 2009 my brother, his wife and 4 children flew to Thailand to spend Christmas with her family. On Christmas Day 2009 I drove to my Dads house before heading to my step sisters. At 12 noon my world shattered. My Dad received a phone call from Thailand, my beloved brother, only 38 years old, had collapsed and died in the shower that morning. We caught the first plane out to Thailand. We were told he had a burst blood vessel near his heart and that he would not have suffered. But my world was shattered as was that of our Dad, my brothers wife and his 4 children (6, 8, 10, 11).

On the 10th May 2011, I was yet again guttered with more devastating news. I’d had blood tests taken to establish why I was struggling to get pregnant and I was told on this day that I was going have a lot of difficulty conceiving A month later I was at a different doctor for a second opinion only to find out that the day I was given the devastating news that I’d struggle to conceive was the day I conceived my little miracle baby The joy of my life My shining star. I managed to conceive another baby when my little miracle was 8 months old but devastation struck me again at 8 weeks pregnant and I miscarried by 2nd baby The only thing that brings me strength is knowing my little angel is in heaven with my mum and brother. I’m heartbroken and devastated that they did not get to meet my baby. But they are in heaven looking after my little baby that I never got to meet. And I hope and pray that we will have another baby soon so that our baby son will grow up knowing the everlasting and unconditional love of a sibling.

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Posted by riss_whatever, 8th April 2013