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No. It is not your fault. There is nothing you did or did not do that caused your husbands depression. My friend went through very similar feelings when her husband was diagnosed, and she saw a counsellour who told her to think of depression as a disease. The person suffering from it just happened to be unlucky enough to get the disease. If someone has cancer, you don’t wonder was it something I did – think of depression the same way. She also explained it can be like the five stages of grief for a partner of a depression sufferer, but harder as they feel they cannot express their emotions for fear of upsetting their loved one. I would highly recommend you find a good counsellour, specialist, or friend witha good shoulder to lean on AND DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!! You have a long hard journey ahead, but we will all be thinking of you, I am sure.


Posted by katelt, 15th May 2013


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  • Some great advice here. We tend to blame ourselves for way too much and often it’s simply out of our control

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  • Actually, if my kids end up with cancer, I will ask myself if it was something I did. They had a lot of passive smoking when babies :(

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  • What great advice you have given

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  • That’s great, practical advice you have given.

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