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It is that time of year – Christmas time. My daughter and I are going through the emotions of not having her dad here for Christmas. Miss 8 has been very emotional – missing her Daddy and being quite teary. As her mum, it is heartbreaking to watch. I feel hopeless, sad, helpless and grief stricken and the only thing I can do is comfort her as best I can.

We look at photos, and talk about him as much as we can. She was 4 when he passed away and she is afraid that she is forgetting him and this upsets her even more. She had forgotten what he sounded like, so I found some voice recordings and played them for her. The smile on her face, when she recognised his voice, lit up the room.

My wish for Christmas is only that I can keep that smile on her face and chase away the sadness from her eyes. Miss 8 is brave, sweet, compassionate, gentle, cheeky and just beautiful. I am ever so proud of her. So very, very proud.

Hold your families close and tight. Love them with an open heart. Seek peace and love. Please.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and be safe.

Thank you.


Posted by chezj, 25th November 2014


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  • great exellent

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  • How terrible for you to have to deal with this, my husband lost a son on a motorbike accident at the age of 17, and Christmas, Birthdays, anniversaries, are all difficult to deal with and although people say time heals, it may but the hurt and thoughts are still there, we try and do something special each year, this year we renovated his gravestone as it was deteriorating and it was upsetting my husband so I had a monumental mason polish it and redo the lettering, new marble chips etc, it looks like a new grave and this lifted my husbands spirits considerably, it sounds goulish but little things like this make all the difference.

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  • We always put a present (or presents) under the giving tree which is suitable for a child who is the age our dead son would be if he was still with us. Maybe creating a ritual like that would help your daughter? Many charities collect presents for adults also.


    • Thank you so much everyone. We already do a lot of the rituals you mentioned. I think it has been harder this year because Miss 8 has come to the realisation of what death actually means, with all that entails.

      Please have a great Christmas and a great day. Thank you for your compassion.

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  • Perhaps you can use photographs into everyday items for her. There are places now where photographs are printed onto coffee mugs, plates, T shirts and Pillow Cases etc. You can have a picture taken of you and her with her dad photo shopped into it or one of her and dad.You may like to work with her on a journal of memories of dad. Keep the memories alive by remembering and writing them for her of your life together before she was born and afterwards and she can add her own memories with yhour help. Perhaps you can locate some of his friends to come visit and tell her some experiences they shared with her dad.
    I do hope this helps.

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  • Celebration times like xmas is the hardest to deal with loss and especially parents, grandparents, I find as we have lost both my dad and father in law within 15 months of each other this xmas my 2,7 and 14 yr olds r going to take it a lot tougher than last year, as gramps and poppy has always been here xmas day, I found last year we kept as many traditions going and lots of talk about them and including them in all chats throughout the day even have a special ornament on the tree for them, I hope she has a great xmas I know people say it gets easier but it just gets harder to remember the sounds of the voices memories are always there voices fade, merry Xmas and hope u have a lovely day xx

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