My 16 year old son asked me whether I had sex before marriage. I found it extremely difficult to tell him the truth as even though society has made it acceptable I’m still in a moral dilemma. I know they say to be open with your children if they ask questions but I really don’t want to delve into my passed life. My husband doesn’t want me to discuss it and that makes it even harder.

Posted anonymously, 28th April 2015

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  • Why would your 16 year old son want to know if you had sex before marriage? Seems like a weird question to be asking your mum


  • Firstly that’s awesome he can ask you, but secondly I don’t see how a fib or a few years would hurt. Once he is over 18 maybe you could tell him the truth.

    I personally would tell the truth and just explain what you think is best for his situation.


  • tell him what is comfortable for you to talk about.


  • I think that you should be comfortable with the amount of info you choose to give. It is great that he wants to talk to you about these important things.


  • I think that although this is uncomfortable conversation it’s great that he feels he can ask that sort of question

    • I agree totally! It is a huge compliment when a child can ask you about the important facts of life.


  • great to read


  • Being open and honest within your boundaries is important. It is better that your child asks you about sex than finding out about it from other sources as those sources may be incorrect and give bad advice. I would take it as a compliment that your child has trust and faith in you to approach and discuss it with you. Good Luck!


  • Wow tough questions. Your son doesn’t need to know details, but at some point maybe that chat could be helpful. My dad told us some stuff about his past but gave us an age he was willing to share and wouldn’t talk about it till then. That protected us from being too emotionally immature. Chat with your husband about what values you want to instill in your son. Sharing your experience can help that.. Like did you have any regrets/ or no regrets. what are your hopes for his sexual experiences even if it differs from your experience. Is he asking because he is thinking about having sex and maybe this would be a great way to have a conversation about sex? if you don’t feel comfortable delving into your past keep it minimal. All the best!


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