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It sounds stupid, I know, most people would read that and think “Well yeah, family is what makes you strong” but it’s different for me, I have always been very independent and very separate from a lot of the drama that goes on in my family.

Anyway, I met my husband on-line and we were a match made in heaven, if only he was about a gazillion miles closer. He lived in Scotland! How much further away from Perth could you get? But we made it work and we ended up with me giving up my job and friends and head over there to live with him and his family.

It was great at first, his family were not as welcoming as I would have liked, but they tolerated me and we soon got into a fairly easy stride. With a few bumps on the way, it got easier after we got married and then when I got pregnant. It got easier for them, but harder on me.

None of my family or friends could make it to my wedding. I was totally alone. My amazing husband did organise a skype call from my father and his family which was wonderful, but that was it. I dealt, of course, I am made of stronger stuff than that and I was handling my depression a lot better than I had before. Or so I thought…

The worst of it came when I was about 4 months pregnant. I was dealing really badly, I had several things wrong with the pregnancy and my depression hit an all time low. I was alone and isolated as my husband was away for work. I got a phone call and was told that we had a high chance of our baby having Down Syndrome.

It was my breaking point.

I sobbed my heart out and phoned everyone I could in Scotland, no one was available and I was so alone I was on the verge of suicide. It was then that I picked up the phone and called the one person I did not expect to help, my grandmother. She talked me down and explained her own experiences with birth and labour, we had never been close, but she was there for me as much as she could be. She made sure to stay on the phone with me until I assured her I was fine and waited while I went to sleep.

It was amazing to have her right there for me just when I needed someone the most.

I guess the point of me sharing this is to say, always keep your family in your heart. You may not be close with them, but they are always going to be there for you.


Posted by madgeekgal, 12th September 2013


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  • What happened? How is your baby? Do you still live in Scotland?

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  • This story really made me think how similar my relationship is with my family.

    Reply

  • I have a similar story to yours and I can feel your pain. Its not easy. I hope you are doing well.
    This is exactly the reason why my husband makes sure me and the kids goes for a holiday to see my parents (only grandparents alive) and siblings at least once a year. He knows how much I miss home especially when my brother commited suicide after few days arriving here in Perth and I was not able to come home til after 2 years….

    Reply

  • There is no extended near by but we are still very close.

    Reply

  • I would love to know how everything turned out for you, pleased your Grandmother was able to help and comfort you.

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  • Oh Madeleine, what a heartwrenching story. I’d love to know the next chapter. Did you continue to live in Scotland, did you make friends? Did life get easier? I really hope so. Depression is such a difficult thing to treat, but when you’re truly isolated, it can be debilitating.

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  • thank you for sharing,

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  • Depression is a hard thing to deal with, I’m glad you found someone you could confide in. My Granny also helped me through the loss of our son, she had lost a baby too, strangely enough we would have shared the same birthday.

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  • Thanks for sharing. You are very lucky to still have your nan! :) I miss mine

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  • Great story thanks for sharing. Family is so very important and some times we forget that

    Reply

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