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My son lives interstate, a 1 hour plane ride away, with his partner and their 7 month old son…..my grandson. Bub has been a bad sleeper from birth. He’s been found to be lactose intolerant, causing many sleepless nights at the beginning. Trying to find a suitable formula resulted in constipation, more sleepless nights. Then he started childcare at 4 1/2 months. He caught a cold, conjunctivitis….more sleepless nights. This cold went only to return not long after and worse then before. Next came gastro. At the moment, he’s only just managing to shake his cough (that hung around for ages!) and still has a blocked nose, so his still having disturbed nights. Basically, his mum and dad haven’t had a full night sleep since bub was born. Recently when I speak to my son on the phone, he sounds so broken. He asked me to visit a while back, just to see bub, recently he’s been asking so I can help out. When I suggested it to hubby……weeeelllll. “You can’t! What about me and the dogs? Bulls (1of our dogs) is too old to be shut up for hours (while hubby’s at work) I’ll have to quit work to look after them. Oh go for it, I don’t mind quitting, I’m sick of work anyway.” He kind of calmed down and reduced that to applying for compassionate leave, which he hasn’t done. Now he says he doesn’t care what I do, just go. But I think that means no lifts to and from the airport (we’re an hour away) and I wouldn’t be surprised if he changes the locks and packs all my stuff in garbage bags and sits them in the shed while I’m away. He’s done it before. I am so torn. At the moment we’re living in the land of silence. He says all new parents struggle, they chose to have a baby, we did it etc All true, but if I can help, I would like to. As if hubby knows what it’s like to be tired with a new baby. He never worked when our kids were babies, he didn’t do night feeds, nappy changes, no early mornings, no baths, no pacing the house with a teething baby at midnight. I did it all. I am pretty angry about it. I’m glad I wrote it down, looking at it on paper has helped me decide what I need to do. I know where I need to be. Thank you for tokersting my rant :)


Posted anonymously, 26th October 2016


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  • I agree, sometimes writing down can help you decide what you really think you should do. I hope it all works out for you in the end and I hope your grandson is better soon. Being sick as a baby is very tough. I would have loved the extra help with my babies when they were little.

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  • I think you have already taken your decision. And I hope your husband will understand how important it is to go and help out.
    I’m sure your son and his family will enjoy your help! :-)

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