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An expecting mum says her pregnant cousin’s gender disappointment has caused a huge family rift, following an emotional gender reveal party.

The 29 year-old mum-of-one, who has a three-year-old son, is expecting her second child. While her husband’s cousin, Lena, 27, is expecting her first baby.

“I’m due in late May, while she’s due in August,” the mum explained on an online forum.

“Lena and I aren’t particularly close (and to be honest, I’m not fond of her), but since we’re both pregnant, we’ve been talking more often than usual. It was during those conversations that she expressed wanting a baby girl. She specifically said she couldn’t see herself raising a boy.”

Last month, Lena threw a gender reveal party, and she found out at the same time as all of the guests, that she is expecting a boy.

“She was visibly disappointed after finding out the sex of her baby. She threw on a fake smile during the actual reveal, but didn’t keep it up for long. For the rest of the party, Lena remained frustrated, and was cold and short with everyone who tried to congratulate her.

“I don’t know if Lena told anyone else that she wanted a girl, but her disappointment has gotten pretty obvious. Since her party, she’s been less excited about her pregnancy. We’ve been speaking less, because she doesn’t even want to talk about her baby anymore. Her sadness has earned her some sympathy and support from my in-laws.

“My baby shower will take place this weekend. I’m having a girl, but my husband and I decided to wait until birth to reveal that. As such, none of my in-laws have been informed.”

The mum says Lena called a couple of days ago, asking her about her baby’s gender.

“She said that if I’m expecting a girl, she won’t come to the baby shower. When I asked why, she said she’s still ‘mourning her daughter’, and doesn’t want to be reminded that she’s not having a girl. She also said that since she’d shared her reveal with the family, it was only fair I told her.

“I reminded her we weren’t telling anyone until birth, but told her she was welcome to avoid the shower if she wasn’t comfortable attending. Lena continued to pressure me to tell her, but I stood my ground. After some back and forth, she told me I was being inconsiderate, as I knew how devastated she’d been. She said she deserved to know if I was about to ‘rub my happiness in her face’.

“That’s when I ran out of patience. I told Lena that if having a boy was that awful to her, she shouldn’t have thrown herself a gender reveal in the first place. I said that she could stop celebrating her pregnancy if she wanted to, but she can’t dictate what I do about mine.

“Lena is furious. She told my in-laws that I was kicking her out of my baby shower. I told everyone the truth, but many are still on her side. They’re saying that it’s rude of me to dismiss Lena’s pain, and that I should be more graceful towards her.”

The expecting mum says while her husband and brother-in-law are on her side, she’s wondering if she went too far.

What do you think? Leave your opinion in the comments below. 

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  • I feel sorry for Lena’s baby.

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  • After all this kerfuffle it is obvious what both mothers are expecting, so either it will blow over like a storm in a teacup or you and your cousin will go back to be only talking occasionally. But I would most certainly be getting on with my life and being as happy as you can as none of us know what’s around the corner and being upset won’t be good for your unborn either.

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  • Lena sounds like a selfish cow. She’s so lucky to be having a baby, so many can’t. Treasure that precious bundle. How can the gender even have an impact on the joy you have giving birth to a beautiful bundle of love? Clearly she has mental issues & the baby probably should never be left alone with her. Hopefully she grows up before the arrival of her baby

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  • If you were never going to throw a gender reveal party, why should you tell Lena. She sounds like a spoilt brat but I hope when she holds her son in her arms, her disappointment will fade. You didn’t do anything wrong. You told her you were waiting until your baby is born and she should respect that. Let her cool her jets and see if she comes around. If not, then she shouldn’t be around you because she’s going to spoil your happiness

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  • Wow! Lena sounds like a spoiled brat! Hope she gets that sorted and doesn’t become a horrible mother.

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  • ‘Lena’ sounds unreasonable and immature. I understand that gender disappointment is real, but you shouldn’t deflect this onto someone else’s happy situation, party or time. It you need OP create distance between you and her, and don’t let her wear you down over the gender reveals.

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  • Do not take on her issues. Get distance between you and her – in fact I would not even bother with her.

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  • ‘Lena’ sounds very unreasonable and somewhat immature. Everyone has a right to not reveal their baby’s gender if they don’t wish to. I hope it’s just pregnancy hormones and she spends the rest of her pregnancy coming to a happier place about having a son.

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  • OMG. I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this situation. Your sister in law is totally out of line and selfish. She IS so fortunate to be having a baby. To be mourning the daughter she is not having is so triggering and insensitive to me. Please don’t take on her crap. I wish you all the best

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  • I’m sorry for her pain but it is not your job to ease her pain. Your pregnancy is not her pregnancy and the gender of your baby is none of her business. It sucks she’s disappointed but that’s something she needs to deal with, not take it out on you.

    Reply

  • She sounds like a bully and possibly turn out be an unfit mother to her poor little baby boy that honestly didn’t pick her as his mum. Don’t let her interfere with your special time of becoming a mum of a beautiful baby.

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  • You have done absolutely NOTHING wrong! Her behaviour saddens me for the little boy blessing to come. I hope she feels differently once the little miracle arrives. I acknowledge that pregnancy can change one’s emotions etc but I do hope she appreciates how lucky she is to have a baby at all. I’m not saying her feelings are invalid but she should focus on a healthy baby and let you enjoy your moment like you deserve. I hope you can continue to stand your ground and enjoy the surprise along with the rest of the family. May your pregnancy continue to be beautiful and that your little blessing arrives happy and healthy x

    Reply

  • Omg! I can’t get over how entitled this woman is and how ungrateful she is as well. I know plenty of women that’d give their eye teeth just to have 1 baby that’s healthy. And yet here’s this person carrying on like a total loser because she’s having another boy! What gives her the right? She’s not grieving the loss of a child at all and all those people pandering to her are just as ridiculous as she is. If this is what she’s like I really pity her children. Don’t let her take away your joy and tell everyone else who thinks you’re not supporting her to go fly a kite. Congratulations and enjoy and I hope everything goes smoothly for you. Don’t bother with her at all. She’s just an attention seeker!!

    Reply

  • So sorry you’re going through this!

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  • Hormones are definitely high during this time and i think everyone just needs to let the dust settle and give it time before trying to fix it.

    Reply

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