Relationships can be hard work, and that’s before you have kids.

Sometimes you’re just too tired to spend time together, or you can’t find a babysitter, and eventually the romance is just gone.

Here are some tips to get it back.

First, you need to Accept.

Life is like a rollercoaster. So many things to do everyday, everything constantly changing and sometimes when it comes to our relationship, it feels that life has taken over with other priorities and that’s fine. Don’t be hard on yourself, it happens to us all. Relationships, like our gardens, need regular watering. You are reading this right now so you are on the right track.

Take action together.

There are two people in a relationship, it is collaborative. You need to take action to find your missing romance together to really find it and feel the fulfilment you are both currently missing.

What is your love language?

I highly recommend finding the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It describes five basic love languages that help to keep our love tanks full. Discover what yours and your partners are. You need to know how to speak their love language to really fulfil it.

Quality time.

Spend time filling your partners love tank. If you are reading this I am guessing your glass is probably near on empty, it takes some time and energy to fill it. Dedicate time daily to do this and do it from your heart space. Remember giving is receiving.

Self Love is so important to live a happy, awesome life.

You need to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. Remember your relationship with yourself is your top priority. Make your happiness a priority in your daily life and do things that you enjoy and make you feel joy, inspired, freedom and satisfied. Be the person you want to be.

Think about romance and love.

We are what we think about. If you focus on what you don’t have, you manifest more of what you don’t have. Don’t think with lack, think with abundance! Think about romance, love, sex. Thoughts, fantasies or memories. What do you enjoy? Remember what it feels like to be in love and what it’s like when your love tank is overflowing!

Date nights.

Going back to the start of your relationship where everything was fresh and new is what I feel date night is all about. Remember talking for hours and really listening to each other? Getting to know each other over delicious food, wine and a sense of wonderment and freedom. Organise one of these at least weekly for the most benefit.

Spontaneity and mystery.

These two words even sound exciting! As we get older, more often than not, our lives start to feel a little repetitive. Groundhog day! The unknown is a lot more exciting. Being spontaneous and mysterious is good for keeping the energy and love alive.

Play with aphrodisiacs.

Your bedroom should be a playroom of discovery for you and your partner. There are so many cool things to play with when it comes to love making. I recommend all-natural aphrodisiacs. They stimulate the right areas and enhance love, passion, sensitivity, relaxation and fantasy thoughts.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Enjoy rediscovering each other. It’s a brand new moment and beginning for you both. Starting now.

How do you keep the romance going in your relationship? Share with us in the comments. 

  • Totally get the tired thing. Hubby is a shift worker so his schedule is all over the place. He’s awake at night and asleep during the day or in bed by 8pm to get up at 5am and gets home at 4pm etc. but we make it work.
    We send I miss you texts to each other during the day and sometimes some cheeky pics at night.


  • Agree with some others we are both too tired, too much effort these days especially because the kids are older and go to bed later not easy to squeeze it in while they are asleep unless we wake eacother up in the middle of the night and we both love our sleep too much but we are not fussed!


  • As soon as we got home we’d talk about our day at work and listened to each other. We would always let the other know we loved them and never went to bed angry. That worked for us for 47 years until he passed away from cancer. I now look out the window at night, pick the brightest star and tell him of my day and how much I love and miss him.


  • Time. Listening. Talking. Doing things together. Doing things apart.


  • I agree.Quality time and self love is important to keep romance going on relationship.


  • Sometimes I think it can be hard when you’re both too tired to do anything on date night though!!

    • It doesn’t have to two people – it can be one person who’s too tired.


  • It sure is a balancing act, even after the kids have left home. I like the element of surprise, expect the unexpected with me


  • Totally agree on self love! Love your self before you try to love someone else. But also, monthly date nights are a must for us


  • I agree that you need to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. However the love and adoration of someone else also can inspire and teach you to love yourself.


  • These are some really good tips. I always forget about self love and self happiness in to busy worrying about everyone else. We havnt been on a date night in a few months I think we need to organise one asap


  • Great tips and a good reminder about self love


  • Thank you for the tips.
    For me my hobby works a lot so to show my appreciation I’ll give him a massage with an essential oil to get him to relax and ease the tension of having to work so much.


  • I like the last tip, not to put too much pressure on yourself.


  • I notice its getting more and more difficult to show affection


  • Some great reminders here. We try to do thoughtful things other than sex. Massages, buying little gifts, lots of hugs, watching a movie together. It’s important to talk regularly too


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