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Loving yourself fully and wholeheartedly is one of the hardest things a human being can experience and it is an ongoing journey that never ends.

We are awesome at giving to everyone but ourselves. We are brilliant at having compassion and empathy for others, but we constantly beat ourselves up everyday. We constantly fear we are not enough, we are unworthy and unloved, thus we conform to the norms of society and try to ‘fit in’.

I know I’ve definitely been there and it wasn’t very pleasant. There have been so many occasions where I compromised my own identity, values, health, happiness etc just to feel accepted and to belong.

At 14 years of age, I got into an unhealthy relationship where I spent the next 6 years being abused physically and emotionally. Then I stayed in that relationship because I thought it was what I deserved.

During my teenage years, I starved myself to go from a size 10 to a size 6, because I thought I was ‘fat’. I based a lot of my self-esteem and self-worth on people’s acceptance and approval of me. I constantly sought attention and validation from others and felt depressed if I didn’t receive it. I had beaten myself up for making mistakes and for not being ‘perfect’. Even if I succeeded in something, I still didn’t think it was good enough. Even when I got into a relationship that was loving and nurturing, I self sabotaged it because I believed I was unworthy.



Through many years in personal development, I’ve learnt to embrace my imperfections and love myself for who I am. I’ve learnt to let go of people’s expectations and only value what’s in my heart.

I’ve learnt to pick myself up every time I failed and to not criticise myself for being human and making mistakes.

I’ve learnt to look fear in the eyes, to push outside of my comfort zone and go after my goals and dreams. I’ve learnt to love my body and my curves, to accept my short button-nose, my flappy arms, my broad shoulders, my stretch-marks, cellulite and many more imperfections that make me uniquely ME.

But if you are not convinced yet, let me share with you some reasons why it is an absolute MUST to love yourself, fully & wholeheartedly:

  1. If you don’t love yourself, how do you know how to love somebody else that way?
  2. It’s your utmost responsibility to love yourself, because if you don’t, who will?
  3. If you go into a relationship expecting someone to fill in your own ‘love tank’, you go in with an attitude to ‘get’. When you fill in your own ‘love tank’, you go in there with an attitude of sharing.
  4. You are beautiful, unique and amazing in your own ways. No one else can be like you. You are rarer than diamonds.
  5. You can’t beat yourself up to be happy. You need to love yourself to be happy.
  6. You have a massive impact on your children and the generations after. Your children will learn how to love and value themselves through your own example.
  7. Your love, compassion and empathy can hugely impact this world that we live in and it must start with you.
  8. Simply because you deserve the best of love in the world.
  9. Learning to accept yourself fully will give you the freedom to explore, be creative, do amazing things and be that magnificent human being that you are.
  10. Look at all of your successes you’ve achieved up to this point, what a great accomplishment. Did you know that back in the day of cave men and cave women, surviving each day was a huge achievement? Look at you, you are still here – alive.
  11. All the mistakes you’ve made have shaped you into the person you are today. It wouldn’t have been the same without them.
  12. Love yourself for the body that you are in. You only have 1 body, that’s it! Stop abusing it with drugs, alcohol or nasty junk food. Treat it with the respect it deserves.
  13. Your smile and your laugh can make someone else’s day.
  14. Likes attract likes, lacks attract lacks. If you are filled with lots of love and happiness, you’ll attract positive and supportive people into your life.
  15. You only live once, if you don’t use the time you’ve got left to love yourself, then when?
  16. You are strong! You’ve been through tough times and challenges that you thought you couldn’t cope with.
  17. You show up, everyday for your friends, family, your partner, colleagues, etc.
  18. Your faith which gets you through the rough patches. Your belief that in the end, it’ll be ok (even when you’re not sure you really do believe).
  19. Your story, your journey that makes you brave and inspiring.
  20. Your perspective of the world, your sense of justice, your creative imagination, your sense of freedom and joy.
  21. You are the everyday ‘superhero’ because you have been more than just a mum, dad, wife, husband, daughter, son, etc. you are all of that, and more.
  22. Your beautiful emotions and feelings you express.
  23. Your deep gratitude for life.
  24. You are a survivor – one survivor amongst millions of semen that got released and died in the process.
  25. You are simply magnificent, what more can I say?

“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we’re powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Williamson.

Do you struggle with loving yourself? How do you try to overcome this?

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • I struggle with loving myself but I have learned to accept myself the way I am. If I worry what others think of me then I just shut myself in my home and spend time with my dog. She loves me for the person I am and so does my family.

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  • Yes I do. I try to remember I am a good person and am doing the best I can.

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  • I think we all struggle a little with loving ourselves. For me, it came with time, wisdom, life experience, and age. I’m more appreciative of myself, my life, and what I’ve achieved and care less about what others think of me. I’m important in my life, my immediate and extended family’s life. I matter.

    Reply

  • Sure is important to love and accept yourself to be able to love and accept others !

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  • Fantastic post – it would help so many. Hope you have submitted this to places like Beyond Blue or Lifeline. It’s just what is needed.

    Reply

  • It can be difficult to love yourself when people can be cruel and judgmental. Learning to love yourself is important and there are some great tips here.

    Reply

  • I needed to read this. I’ve always struggled with self image, especially after having a baby and gaining 30kgs. I lost a lot of it but have gained some back since falling pregnant again. Great list.

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  • Love this list. Its really nice to take time out and learn to love yourself.

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  • I love this, thank you.

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  • I’ve always liked who I am and have always backed myself. I can see how easily people can fall into the trap of having low self-esteem or not trusting their instincts. The messages we receive every day from advertising, tv shows, people around us, is that we should always be better than we are – we should look better, own better things, do what others do etc. No wonder people are so messed up. I would say to everyone, be thankful and grateful for who you are and what you have.

    Reply

  • Great read. I need to love myself more.

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  • Wow, this is great. Thank you.

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  • Definitely a struggle especially since I’ve had kids and now have stretch marks and can’t get of the baby belly, great read thank you

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  • I love this! Number 6 is my favourite reason, and I think if it was the only reason to love yourself then that would be sufficient reason to work hard at it every day. But I think this is a universal struggle that people have, and something that needs to be worked on for a whole lifetime.

    Reply

  • mmm, ok, a little too touchy feely for me

    Reply

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