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Here are 6 steps to happiness – look at things you can stop and start doing to become a happier person inside and out!

Happy people do a lot of things. They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savouring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions. Listen to your own inner voice. Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you :)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you, are your friends, those who don’t are your teachers. If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…

What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such. Don’t let your happiness be held hostage. It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be. If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault. Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier. Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy. Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation. Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you. A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you wish.

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past. What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.

We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.

Forgiveness is the remedy. It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable. So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.

When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY. When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.

Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself. Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts. They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth. Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies. If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night. You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.

So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s something you should NOT do if you want to be happy?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

  • Never put yourself down! You are worth more!

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  • No .4 you need to rid off!

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  • Thank you for the helpful and wise advice.

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  • I need to print this list and have it somewhere to refer to on a daily basis as its often hard to remember as we get caught up in social media

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  • Wow, I love this list. I am in a state of happiness, trying to live most of them. Resentment is the tricky one when you have a narcissist in the family who continues to be your trigger. I have disconnected from the person and my life is so much calmer and happier. I am in a really good place as I have finally taken a step back to live my happy life and not that of others. It has been met with such resistance, but that’s on others, not on me. I’m happier for it.

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  • Love that list of tips. They’re basically what I live by, most of them anyway. Great all round tips to live by

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  • Really interesting article! Thanks for sharing this!

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  • Some very valid points that definitely provide food for thought. I’d also add to those:
    – Don’t involve yourself in things that are irrelevant to your own life. Instead focus on yourself and how to improve your own life.
    – Don’t have unrealistic expectations : expectation is the root of all disappointment. You set yourself up for failure by putting too much pressure on a person or a situation.
    – Don’t say Yes all the time. Learning to say no is one of the most freeing and powerful things you can learn in your lifetime. Rarely do people say no to someone if they don’t have an excuse. You need to realize that not wanting to do something is excuse enough. You only have so much time, you need to spend it doing things you actually enjoy.
    – Don’t take on more than you can handle. Life is one huge balancing act and if you bury yourself under too many tasks, you may never emerge again. Learning how to prioritize is an essential skill in life and one that will render a lifetime of happiness. Stress is the quickest way to lose sight of what’s important in life. By managing your tasks in the right way, you have a greater chance of avoiding this stress.
    – Don’t compare yourself to others. You are not someone else and no matter how hard you may try, you will never be. It may sound clichéd, but the only person you can be better than is the person you were yesterday.

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  • Depression is a horrible thing, patience and love is very important. Some great reading.

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  • Nicely written article with good advice

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  • I would not bottle things up anymore when people disrespect me.

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  • Thanks for sharing this interesting article and great tips for happiness; in particular not seeking validation from others. You must do what makes you happy and definitely avoid negative people that drain positive energy!


    • It is essential to avoid negativity and negative people – negativity and negative people are just so draining.

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  • So true! When you worry what others are doing all the time, you never get to just enjoy “you” and what really matters.

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  • Some helpful tips here. Remove yourself from negative energies I say!

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  • Just because you don’t do these things doesn’t mean you will be happy, but I agree, you don’t need these things in your life.

    Reply

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