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Divorce and separation can be hard. It can be emotionally draining. It can affect your health, your finances, your emotions, and your children. Despite what many people believe, there are ways to make divorce easier for the whole family.

If you’re going through a divorce, or considering getting a divorce, here are 6 tips to make your divorce easier for the whole family.

1. Communicate

Communication is vital. Keep the lines of communication open during your divorce – with your ex, your friends and family, and your children. Don’t shut people out, especially the ones that are ready and willing to support you through it all.

2. Mediate

Mediation is a quick and affordable way to resolve the issues that arise from divorce with a minimum of stress. Instead of dragging your divorce through the courts, and paying probably tens of thousands in legal fees, consider mediation.

Mediation is almost always a lot quicker too, meaning you could finalise your settlement and arrangements for the kids within weeks instead of months or years.

3. Control Your Emotions

If you’ve got children who may take on your feelings and emotions, try to stay in control of your emotions, at least while they are around.

Children need to know that you’re OK and everything will be OK. Badmouthing your ex, or getting angry and upset in front of your kids is not going to help them get through this tricky time either.

Try to stay calm and rational in their presence – we know this may be harder than it sounds!

4. Help Your Children Work Through Their Feelings

Just as you are working through your own emotions, your children will be doing the same thing.

They will go through a similar set of emotions to any loss – feelings of shock, denial, anger and depression are quite common during a divorce, for adults and children alike.

Allow your children to process their emotions in their own time and always be willing to talk to them about how they feel. Don’t shut yourself away and leave them to deal with it on their own.

5. Consider Therapy

If you need someone to talk to, and don’t want to talk to a friend or family member, you could consider therapy, especially family therapy where the changed dynamics may need examining. A trained professional can help you work through the emotions that come along with a divorce, in a non-confrontational and neutral environment.

If your children are struggling to express themselves, a specialist children’s psychologist could be an option too.

6. Take Care Of Yourself

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Getting a divorce is one of the most stressful life events, even if it appears amicable.

Take some time out for yourself – it doesn’t have to be anything expensive or fancy.  Having some quiet time to enjoy one of your hobbies, catching up with a friend or visiting family are all small things that can make a big difference.

  • My divorce luckily was an easy one and my kids didn’t feel any distress from it. I suppose it really depends on how you handle the situation and always seek assistance when needed.

    Reply

  • I really feel for the kids during a time like this, this is good information.

    Reply

  • An awful time for everyone but this is important information not only for the people going through it but those around them as well.

    Reply

  • Such a difficult thing to go through. I’ve watched a few friends marriages break down and they’re still fighting about issues years down the track

    Reply

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