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A letter to any parent contemplating the worst.

I know you’re in pain.

There are struggles you face which you feel no one else does. That only you can resolve. And you can’t see a way out of the darkness.

You may have tried to get guidance from the people closest to you, or you may be keeping your troubles to yourself.

You may be tired of hearing the same generic response over and over again, or believe that no one understands how you truly feel at this moment in time.

And it is just that – a brief moment in time.

Just Know The Worst WON’T Last

This trialing moment is not going to last, it will pass, just as all the other struggles you faced over the years passed, and you succeeded with those.

You have to have been successful, otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.

This May Not Be The ‘Real’ Heartache

Of course, this doesn’t change the hell you feel you are in right now, but, what if it only ‘feels’ like hell?

What if the real heartache comes after we pass from this magnificent earth?

As parents, one of the greatest joys comes from being there for our children during their times of great need.

Helping them, guiding them and comforting them whenever they need us to.

You Won’t Be Able To Be There

What if you could see your child, crying, inconsolable, because all they want is you and you can’t be there for them to love, console and ease their pain.

That sounds pretty hellish to me and I can’t imagine anything more painful than not being able to soothe the beautiful little beings that mean more to you than anything else in the world.

I am not trying to take away from the challenging situation you face which causes you to feel like your children would be better off without you.

You WILL Make It Through!

There is absolutely nothing I can do to help you through it other than remind you that you’ve faced hardships in the past and you will make it through this one with as much grace as you have before.

I do wish you strength, love and positivity to get you through the dark times.

Don’t Gamble On The Unknown

Most importantly however, I want to remind you that none of us know what happens to our souls when we die, so rather than take a gamble on the unknown, I encourage you to back yourself, because even though I don’t know you, I know you are capable of amazing things, we all are!

Breathe, just breathe!

I Know What It Feels Like

I am a wife, blessed with seven little ones, two of whom have severe disabilities.

I know what darkness looks like.  In fact, I recall from a very young age being told how worthless I was, that I should have been drowned at birth and that I should hang myself.

Fortunately, I made it through each and every single dark day, and just think of all the life and love I would have missed out on if I hadn’t.

Situations can’t always run smoothly, otherwise the boredom alone would be the death of mankind.

You CAN Get Through This!

I have unwavering belief in the power of positive thoughts, in looking at the bigger picture, beyond the immediate struggles, to the future where you live each day with confidence knowing that you aren’t immune to negative experiences. Within you, you hold everything you need to successfully manoeuvre yourself through any obstacle which comes your way with grace, love and compassion.

I truly do believe everyone is capable of making it through, even if you don’t believe in yourself right now.

Reach out for help, there are so many resources available to us today. And sometimes a phone call can make the world of difference.

Wishing you health, love, strength and prosperity, now and always!

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.The Conversation

What would you tell a mum who is in a dark place? Tell us in the comments below.

  • Remember your children still love you dearly and also need you a lot. It is always darkest before the dawn of finding a way out of whatever is troubling you. Stay safe and keep on smiling as smiles will annoy those who are trying to bring you down. Hold on to all those wonderful memories and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

    Reply

  • I would like to say it’s ok to feel down and give space for your feelings. You’re worthy and your feelings matter, try to share your feelings with people who understand; a partner, family members, a friend, a counselor or pastoral services if you’re a member of a church

    Reply

  • To accept help and take time out

    Reply

  • There are many places you can call and remain anonymous. I didn’t want to live after my husband passed away but I was told to ring Beyond Blue and they were fantastic. They gave me a few ideas and told me to ring back any time. There would always be someone there to talk to you, maybe give you some ideas but mainly to let you know you matter. Don’t give up

    Reply

  • To please reach out to someone, anyone. Someone you trust. Or someone anonymous. Please talk to someone.

    Reply

  • Stay touch with friends and family.

    Reply

  • I would try to share an insight into my everyday life so they can see we are all in this together. A group of my mum friends have grown closer during isolation as we have been videoing and they can see the similarities of our lives

    Reply

  • One of my favourite sayings is
    “You have already survived every single one of your worst days”
    Or something like that! Not too sure who to credit for it either.
    But anyway, it’s so very true! Life can and will get you down but things change. Seek help, do what you need to do and hope for the best (if you can!)

    Reply

  • talk to someone that always helps

    Reply

  • Reach for help…dont be afraid to talk about your feelings

    Reply

  • Take small steps. Look for one positive thing or moment in each day. Hang on to those moments and they will make you stronger. You can do this and you will come out the other side a much stronger you.

    Reply

  • I would say hang in there. You are wanted, loved and needed and you are stronger than you think you are.

    Reply

  • I would tell them “you are strong. You can get through the darkness. You have people who love you and can support you. Let others know how you feel so they can help.”

    Reply

  • just be positive!

    Reply

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