Dear Mum whose child just won’t go to sleep,

We know you think it’s your fault because you’re the mum, so if they can’t sleep you must be doing something wrong.

We see you.

We know that when you share with others why you’re so tired, you are bombarded with advice. You have to politely show interest and say “yeah I’ll give that a go.”

But we know you already tried that.

We know you find yourself staring at the carpet because you’re too exhausted to engage with the world around you. Feeling guilty that all you want to do is watch TV and drift into la la land instead of playing with your kids. And feeling guilty when they watch TV and you can just be still for a while.

We see you.

We know your days are the same as your nights. There is no break. There is no difference. We know you’ll be up to with kids before you even have a chance to close your eyes.

We know you make plans to take up that offer from your family so you can go out with your husband. But by the time the evening comes, you’re too exhausted to go. You don’t want to waste the opportunity that maybe tonight will be better and you’ll able to relax and sleep.

We see you.

We know that you need and want help at night but you think if you’re going to be tired anyways you’d rather not bring someone down with you.

We know each night you are certain and motivated to try some new sleep techniques. But in the middle of the night between anger and tears, you just succumb to them sleeping in your bed or rocking them to sleep. You know they’ll be up early anyway and your day will start again, so you want sleep when you can get it. No matter what that takes.

We see you.

We know you don’t recognise the person you are, in these long days and even longer nights. You don’t like her. You feel like your disintegrating into her.

You’re not.

I see you.

To me, the mum with the kids who don’t sleep. Hang in there. You’re doing a great job. And one day you’ll look back on these days with a smirk and wonder how you survived. But you did.

I see you. We see you. You’re still there.

Is this letter written for you? Tell us in the comments below.