I really feel the pain of this lady. I had very similar situation when our son was just born up to 3-4 months I think. Sometimes I just wanted to go out into window.
I don’t know what I did or said, but my husband changed and I have now a lot of time for myself.
I always was talking to him about my feelings and what can be if I will be upset all the time.

Sadly; it sounds as if this time off is being treated as a sabbatical by one parent. When a child is born and people become parents it is time to harness energy and to work together as a team to support each other to care for a child and it is not a time for one parent to opt out of their responsibilities.

It sounds like he’s not playing his part in caring for your daughter. Let him know you are going to find a job and he can take over the caring for your daughter. If it only takes one person to look after your daughter now, he can take over for the next 6 months. If he doesn’t want to do that then suggest he takes over all the cleaning as well as the cooking and you’ll just look after your daughter. Hopefully you can both sort things out

I don’t understand why he wanted a year off to help with the baby if he is not going to help with the baby! If he is insisting that looking after the baby is his wife’s role, then I would suggest to him that going back to work is the husband’s role. He can’t have it both ways.

A marriage is a partnership and being a parent is a partnership too. There needs to be equal levels of responsibility and support in a relationship and in parenting. There needs to be a strategy and plan in place for housework and for care of the child. Throwing a comment out about aura is quite ridiculous and adults need to behave like mature adults.

I think I’d tell him to go back to work! It honestly sounds like he just wanted a year long holiday which is super unfair on you. You have every right to ask him to help out more as tgats supposedly the reason he took a year off. He’s more than capable of doing everything you are unless you’re breastfeeding and even then there’s so much he could do to support you.

Yeah, I’m sorry but roles? Has he ever heard of a house husband? There is a little thing called equality these days and while there are some things that only a mother can do i.e. breastfeeding, there is no reason he can’t get up first and do a nappy change and have everything ready and then stay up with mum and be there if she needs anything. If they both have the time off chores should be split and caring for bub should be split also. Maybe alternating days would work, so mum always gets a couple of hours break in the afternoon every second day and dad can have some time to himself too?

You need to talk. His idea or what mum does and what dad does is very different too how you seem to want to live. Chat it out, tell him you want him more involved in daily baby duties. Surely you can compromise and end up happier. Leave baby with him.

Ugh this sounds terrible. It would be hard to not feel some resentment if he’s literally not helping with the baby at all. Totally understandable why she’s feeling frustrated. This mum needs to have the hard conversation and let the husband know he needs to step up in the house or go back to work, imo.

Personally speaking I would have got the husband to take a few weeks off when the baby was born, then his big chunk of the year off around 6 months. As the first few weeks it’s lovely watching your daughter grow, but mum is needed the most. By 6 months she is growing but the husband can do more with her while mum can get her rest and her time for gym or pilates.
By the sounds of things her husband is a lazy one and needs a kick in the backside. She needs to stand her ground and maybe just stop doing any of his washing or cooking for him.

I misread this the first time, and thought hubby did all the cooking and cleaning – I’ve now noticed that’s wrong. So it’s even more wrong that Mum is doing all the baby things. This needs to change or it’ll be a permanent pattern. I suggest she asks him to see a marriage counsellor to help address it.

I think that men and women can be a bit different wired. My husband was never too much involved in the baby stage or in the caring roles. However as soon as the kids became toddler right up to now they’re older he did like to play with them and take them out and spend quality time with them.

Maybe you could make a list of things you would expect from him. I found what worked for my husband and I was a refrigerator white board that had the days of the week and I wrote out what was expected of him that day and what was expected of me. It worked really well!

This is 2025 where men and women are so much more equal. Both parents work (usually in our current society with the costs involved), both do the household chores and both parents parent! I don’t think constantly raising this will change his view on the situation given his reaction so far, I feel that would make matters worse. I do feel for you in trying to navigate this while postpartum and hope there is some good advice being given. I feel like you’re at a stand still ❤️

I think it might be most helpful to get someone like a counsellor involved in the conversation. Because yeah, your husband is making a significant contribution if he’s doing all the cooking and cleaning (does that include things like laundry?), but it’s not enough if he doesn’t also engage with the baby.

Hmmmm strange vibes from the husband. Why wouldn’t he want to be part of helping and caring for the baby. My husband loves being involved and making things easier for me. I have to say I’m extremely blessed cause he is more amazing than I could imagine but anyways this women needs to communicate more to the husband and really have some deep and meaningful chats so he can really understand where she is coming from. Sucks that this even has to spoken about, really he should just know tbh lol

This is quite sad to hear. Having kids should be. 50/50 thing. It takes a village to raise a child and for the husband to have taken time off to spend with his child to then sit on his phone etc and not help out the mum is not acceptable. I feel for this mum.

This is quite sad to hear. Having kids should be. 50/50 thing. It takes a village to raise a child and for the husband to have taken time off to spend with his child to then sit on his phone etc and not help out the mum is not acceptable. I feel for this mum.

This is quite sad to hear. Having kids should be. 50/50 thing. It takes a village to raise a child and for the husband to have taken time off to spend with his child to then sit on his phone etc and not help out the mum is not acceptable. I feel for this mum.

Oh boy I hear you. My husband was like this and I often said that I felt like a single parent except for the fact that i didnt have to worry about income. Apart from the times he drained the bank account.
He wont change so you have to decide if you just suck it up or seriously become a single parent. Dont cut off your nose to spite your face… think carefully.