Are you caring enough? Do you care-take too much?
There are self leadership distinctions to be made around the two concepts of Care-taking and Caring.
One path to greater authenticity and building self-esteem is through making a shift from being a care-taker to instead, just being caring.
One of the biggest distinctions within the two different behaviours is how our energy flow is different in the way we lead ourselves. Which is why caring is a personal leadership skill.
Are your hands in there?
When you care-take, you are in effect micro-watching everything that is going on, carrying a burden of responsibility that more than likely, is not really yours to hold. Your energy may extend out towards another and it attempts to embrace the other/or subject to protect it from some imagined danger or other equally scary outcome. You may even have a hyper-awareness of what negative consequences might happen if you don’t intervene – and you just might have temporarily forgotten the potential for greatness that may happen if you allow the person or project to thrive without your attempt at control.
Have you ever wanted something to turn out to your expectations so bad that you took away another’s empowerment and over controlled a situation? Have you ever said to someone – after you had delegated to them – “It’s ok, I’ll do it myself?”
Is this you?
It may look like efforts to try to control, helping things along to a “better” outcome or it may look like taking on a role of responsibility.
And what is the result for the other person or project? Perhaps they get to be limited by our own limited perspective. Perhaps they gain success – although they may not get to own that success. They may also not be inspired as a by-product. After all, they didn’t get to grow into their own greatness.
Or instead do you CARE?
When instead you care; you embody a state of love and compassion. Your energy stays with you. In your own self leadership, you are full and your energy spills over.
You contribute as a personal leader and then after you have explained your hopes and expectations and provided the essential support… you trust. You trust clarity that will come and natural perfection of the best possible outcome. You also practice being comfortable with an uncertain future. In short; you trust. You trust in others, as you hope they trust you and you trust in the best possible outcome.
For those people and projects you care about – they then get to fly with their own potential. They also get to learn, grow, and reap the benefits of success.
You get to authentically be witness and observer – then get to have your authentic expression around what you notice – without attachment. You also get to feel – feel fully around whatever is happening in the moment.
It takes a real courage, openness and allowing to care and not care-take and to recognize you no longer need to strive to have things as you expect them to be. Your way.
How about you?
In self leadership view, are you consciously choosing to care and not care-take or do you catch yourself drifting in to try to control another or a situation?
The opportunity here is a simple one. Slow down and pay attention to how you are with others. Are you open and allowing to multiple perspectives? Or do you feel less flexible and caught in your own singular perspective. Just remember when you care – you don’t love any less. You just are passionate in a more resourceful way for everyone.