I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been asked “Was the baby planned?”
Errrr planned? Well, if planning a baby means a brief moment of insanity and one too many cocktails then yes, yes it was.
When we found out we were pregnant the second time around… it was different. There were no high fives or crazy dance moves around the lounge room. Instead, it was just a look we gave each other, like “What have we done?”, “Oh my god!”, “Are we ready?” Our son Mac had just clocked 8 months – cue freak out….
Underneath it all, we were super excited!
My always reassuring husband was quick to tell me, it was simply TOO late to freak out and we just needed to adapt and deal with it. Always the realist. Don’t get me wrong, underneath it all we were both super excited – a sibling for Mac! He didn’t know it yet, however in less than 9 months he would have a little sister to jump all over, poke and prod and one day swoon over all her friends.
Since Lila entered the world, Mac has really impressed us with his ‘big brother’ responsibilities. Well, most of the time anyway. Of course, like any siblings they have their “moments”. Like the time you look over and see his foot 2cm from stomping on her head, or when he is adamant a sultana must be able to squeeze into her tiny nostril.
I’m sure there are challenges with all age gaps, but here are a few things I’ve found from having them so close:
Breastfeeding a newborn while having an almost-two-year-old run around the house like a maniac, is almost impossible. The cries for my attention are frustrating when I am not able to communicate, “another ten minutes and I’m all yours”.
Sleep is my kryptonite. When I get it, I can be Supermum. But unfortunately with two under two, that’s a rarity. With Mac finally sleeping through, going back to waking every 3 hours is tough.
The logistics! My neighbours must think I’m a crazy woman. Trying to wrangle both kids into their carseats with a nappy bag big enough for a short holiday… barely seems worth it for a trip to the supermarket. Thank god for grocery shopping online.
My ME time has almost vanished. At least when there was one, I found time to shower alone… and go to the toilet in peace.
What makes it all worthwhile, is when I hear the two of them giggling and chattering away in their own language. Their faces light up like they’re sharing some secret even I’m not in on.
I feel fortunate that I’ve met a number of Mums in the same situation; old friends, new friends and hopefully a few more to come. These women make me feel normal. We have to stick together and be able to laugh through the craziness of it all!
I don’t believe there is a so-called “good” time to try for number two. I say, trust your own gut …. AND if in doubt, go easy on those cocktails when you’re feeling fertile.
Now I guess the question is, do we go for number 3?
What are the age gaps between your kids? Or what kind of age gap are you planning? What challenges do you face?