The way I see it….after being immersed in trends, advice, tips, medical expert advice, blogger advice, celebrity endorsements, friends, ….If I’m walking this earth I’m trendy and in fashion and I am proud of my body image.

There’s so much out there in ideals, reality and emotional blackmail (“Do THIS everyday or you’re not beautiful.”) But I’ve reached this wonderful place in my life.

My forties.

I, at (nearly 44) female, kiwi / slash live in Australia but Irish/Scottish roots just want to be myself.

Whatever that is.

I’m bringing up two girls. One quite thin, one more solid, like myself. I’m concerned for them growing into the craziness the online world has invented.

My oldest has brought up the word “fat” More a general query than an answer about herself.

I’ve learned to empower her with… “You’re big and strong like your mum.”

I am hoping to be a role model for her and give her empowerment in her figure.

The other will pull on 1/2 mm of skin on her stomach and say “Look.”

I tend to laugh and say “You’ve eaten. We eat. Or we starve and can’t do anything.”

Simple facts given in confident, fun ways, amongst the chaos out there.

They’re All Hypocrites

I’m not opposed to The Kardashians. I’ve watched shows. Kim is a walking fashion shoot who a while ago posed with a model who suffers a skin condition. The model was considered “beautiful” by Kim’s daughter.

Therefore the number 1 Kardashian promoted ”Embracing flaws and thriving with this

But then went on to launch a range of full body makeup to hide flaws. We may as well wake up, walk into a vat of concealer, step out, set and dare to go out in public.

I feel for the youth of today, with this pressure. It’s got to the point where we people just can’t BE.

Respect Your Body Image

Freckly, moles, rashes, hairy, veins, psoriasis. To name a few.

There’s nothing wrong with the management of these conditions, but making it all disappear is giving unfair messages.

Beauty in body image is embracing yourself and my pet peeve of beauty experts and journalists in this world is.

‘Glitter is out! That’s so yesterday!’

Statements that I don’t agree with. You be who you want to be, in the fashion and style you want.

If you’re walking this earth you’re in style.

So if you love glitter at forty. Love your flare jeans.  Thrive in pink? Then embrace it.

YES, there are trends that generally just evolve. But ultimately don’t let it dictate who you are.


You’ll Never Keep Up With Body Image Trends

The NEW realistic mannequins are in store. Replicas of many body shapes walking around. Yet there’s such an opinion of it. The way I see it. Size 18 wearing fitness gear is great! They are trying to be fit, working out. But some can’t stand this sight, from what I’ve heard out there.

Looking back at oil paintings. Women were fuller figured. Then there’s Twiggy.  Glamazon catwalk models like Elle Macpherson, then Kate Moss (thin again!) Now it’s all in the bum! Curvy and huuuuge backside. What is that?? Crazy monstrosity these celebrities are whacking on themselves. Natural, is one thing but to pass off dieting and Zumba for a size 22 bottom and size 8 waist is just ridiculous. Girls can’t achieve this trend!

Oh look I ate and ate to get a booty and my stomach and neck and arms aren’t keeping up!

Somewhere amongst this, the average girl sitting on the couch in her comfy jammies, squeezing (unadvised!) a spot. Running a hand through greasy fringe….is wondering where she fits in?

Again. YOU are in style. Follow a healthy regime, mostly. Understand and filter through beauty advice, which really is just an opinion and celebrities out to make money. Know that you won’t find the answer to all your problems in a product.

You are fine.

I love my eye make up. That’s me. I’ve dyed my hair dark, because I like a change. I could try a bit more with weight loss but, meh. I like my downtime from a busy life. Doing stomach crunches so I look like I never have birth is just not a priority.  I’m not on a diet of dust and leaves. I’m happier now than my thirties.

But it’s my girls I pray for.  I just want our children to find sanity amongst this nonsense and these conflicting messages.

And live





What are your tips to instil good self body image in your children? Tell us in the comments below.

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  • I think we need to tell our kids that we look good ….show them that we have good self esteem and they will learn from that.
    I work with special needs children and each morning I greet each child with a positive “Good Morning Beuatiful” “Dont you look handsome this morning?” things like that….because they are all awesome


  • Interesting read and some good tips. Thanks.


  • Love your post – it is so down to earth. That was what I always tried to be with my children and they seem to have followed suit.


  • I’ve never been one to follow trends of any sort. I merely try and do the best for me and I can’t do any more


  • This is a tricky one. My son just told me the other day that he doesn’t like one of his Kinder teachers because she is “big”. It’s odd as I have never talked to him about this sort of thing.


  • making sure not to judge others also.


  • It’s so hard my daughter 9 and thin and she is already asking me how to lose weight and wants to exercise for that purpose. I tell her she doesn’t need to lose weight and that we should exercise for overall health and we have started walking together a few days a week and this seems to have helped


  • I would love to not be bothered by my appearance but it’s been my weakness since a young age. I am trying to be more accepting of my body and appearance especially in front of my kids. I am very self conscious of my tummy since having my kids and when my little boy sees it he will touch it and I try to be more positive about it by saying “it’s pretty amazing, this tummy grew you and your sister, how cool is that” and he completely agrees.


  • I was lucky growing up because no-one focused on body images. Now that’s all they seem to focus on.


  • I think age gives you wisdom and you care less. Each decade you live brings different challenges. I’m 50 and trying to learn positivity about my body, but it’s so ingrained in me that I have many flaws, that it still stays with me today.


  • Always try to talk about your own body in a good way. I have to keep telling myself that I have had 2 children and gone through 3 pregnancies so my body is not what it used to be but is the reason my children are here so I love it!


  • Since my girl was littler (she is 6) I started playing a few songs for her. One is TLC Unpretty and the other was The Colour of Me (from Sesame Street) I explained to her that in un pretty, the girl was going to change her body to please someone else, even though she didn’t want to. And explained to my girl the importance of making yourself happy and being happy with how you look as your the only one who matters. The clip also shows a larger girl, who is unhappy with her self image because of the magazines but then decides to tear down all the pictures and to live herself they way she is! The colour of me is because it’s a song about loving the colour of your skin, my children have brown skin like their dad, and he was worried they would face negativity like he did growing up. So far we don’t have any body issues. I’m hoping that by playing these songs and openly discussing it that we can avoid it.


  • Very important for kids to see that everyone is beautiful in their own way


  • Agree this world is putting so many ideas in our young girls minds. But I do think as parents we do still need to teach them the importance of healthy balanced eating so the do not become overweight and have health problems due to this. Healthy eating habits are important too without an emphasis on it being to not get fat. Everything in moderation I say. If I see my kids eating too much junk I will tell them, they need to know their limitations too and not stuff their faces full of chocolate. Still eat it and enjoy it but don’t eat a whole block.


  • Just love them as they are and give the good example.
    I ditched all make up, no more fake !


  • Never let your kids hear you speak about body image, it only instils worry for their own self image


  • I just dont have time to do this


  • I’m 31 and suffer from a bad self image. Definitely dunny want my daughter to go through the same


  • imagine if we were all the same, how boring! we are all different and beautiful in unique ways how exciting,!


  • No body shame…everyone is beautiful


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