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Is it just me or does everyone get overwhelmed at the supermarket? Just when I think I know where I can find everything, someone decides that the aisles need rearranging and suddenly nothing is logical.

Dried fruit is in the healthy aisle, my favourite sauce has been moved to the international section and don’t even get me started on where to find the apricot nectar!

And then there’s the packaging info. I thought I was reasonably intelligent but when I’m faced with those huge lists of ingredients and numbers, I start having panic attacks and am sure I’m poisoning my family. I have been known to walk out of the shop with nothing because I can’t make a decision!

Well, that didn’t work!

I went through a stage of trying to eliminate everything I’d read that was supposedly harmful. That shopping trip took about 7 hours and I came home with four products that all tasted like shite and toilet paper everyone hated.

My sugar-free phase was met with equal confusion and failure.

I have now decided on a happy medium which basically consists of ‘don’t buy junk food and try not to overanalyse everything’.

Three Shopping Rules

My three rules:
1) Go shopping with a list
2) Never shop hungry and
3) Avoid the chocolate aisle!

To help get it off my chest, I’ve put my supermarket struggles into song. Check it out below:

LOOKING FOR THE MARMALADE

Sung to the hit disco tune ‘Lady Marmalade’

This one’s for my shopping sisters, don’t get overwhelmed sisters
Refined sugar, raw sugar

Bleached sugar, brown sugar

Almond flour, rice flour

Wholemeal flour, spelt

 

My mind it explodes in the supermarket

Too many labels to read

Let’s get this done quick

In and out in a flick

 

Gluten, vegan, dietary fibre

Trans fat, monosaturated

Fructose, lactose, vinegar cider

Where’s the orange marmalade?

 

Farm laid, barn laid, cage free, grain fed. Say What?

Bleached, unbleached, all natural, say what?

 

Should I try vegan and give it a go?

I’m not all that fussed about meat.

But that means no milk

No eggs and no cheese

 

Hell no I can’t do without gouda

Camembert and brie are my life

Wine and cheese are married forever

I still can’t find the marmalade

 

Oat milk, goat milk, rice milk, soy milk? Low fat?

Homogenised and pasteurised what?

 

Who owns the screaming kid in aisle ten?

How can I possibly shop

Look If she wants chocolate I’ll buy her a bar

Does she want two, three or four?

Is 621 food colouring or not?

It’s monosodium glutamate

I need a scientific pharmacalogical degree

To be sure sure sure

 

Gluten, vegan, dietary fibre

Trans fat, monosaturated

Fructose, lactose, vinegar cider

Where the f..k’s the marmalade?

 

Farm laid, barn laid, cage free, grain fed? Say What?

Bleached, unbleached, all natural, say what?

 

Oat milk, goat milk, rice milk, soy milk? Low fat?

Homogenised and pasteurised what?

Farm laid, barn laid, cage free, grain fed? Say What?

Bleached, unbleached, all natural, say what?

At last I found the marmalade!

Does anyone else have supermarket struggles? Tell us in the comments below.

  • Like you I hate it when the supermarket decides to rearrange everything. And it often doesn’t make sense where they put things. Like you I always shop wuth a list and try hard not to stray from it. But these days shopping is the only time I get out of the house, so I still enjoy it. Thanks for your song.

    Reply

  • i love grocery shopping to see what is new, what’s been marked down or on special etc
    i get frustrated too when items are moved around and in what i think of odd places!

    Reply

  • My biggest struggle is when they rearrange all items in different isles and when they discontinue my favourite items !

    Reply

  • I shop online so I can avoid this! ???? I used to work at a supermarket and I still had troubles most times locating products.

    Reply

  • I only ever go to my local supermarket because I understand the layout. I always have a list too and I will usually do my research on the website before going, so I’m not standing there for ages reading a bunch of different labels.

    Reply

  • I dont always enjoy shopping, a necessary evil

    Reply

  • Always follow list…we already have our trusted brands and products which we are choosing

    Reply

  • We usually go shopping on the weekend and personally I hate it. I like getting in and quickly getting out. People are rude, there are loud kids.

    Reply

  • Omg yes!
    I usually have to ask where something is, as they change the stores around

    Reply

  • Online shopping solves a lot of these problems.

    Reply

  • Going grocery shopping alone with my 1 year old seriously makes me anxious, going grocery shopping in general just gives me the …. cranks.

    Reply

  • So relatable! And agree, never go in Hungry

    Reply

  • This song is hilarious and relatable haha. I always go with a list, I stick with things I know, and always go after iv eaten never on an empty stomach otherwise I come home with so much bad food haha

    Reply

  • The never go when you’re hungry rule is so so true, I get ravenous big I smell fresh bread!

    Reply

  • Great video! I love getting out of the supermarket as fast as possible, but that’s not always easy to achieve.

    Reply

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