Who needs a home cooked meal when you’ve got all the flavours of Christmas presented in one portion-perfect can?
Second only to presents, Christmas food is one of the most important elements of the day – whether you’re a prawns and salad family or total traditionalists with turkey, ham and baked potatoes, there’s nothing like sitting down to a delicious meal to get you in the Christmas spirit. Here to quash all your culinary hopes and dreams, however, is the dreaded Christmas Tinner, originally created by gaming site GAME, for those that simply can’t tear themselves away from their screens on the most magical day of the year…
Just Plain Wrong
Let us talk you through each delicious layer of this Christmas feast. It starts with scrambled egg and bacon, followed by two mince pies, then the main course of turkey and potatoes with gravy, throw in some bread sauce and cranberry sauce, top it off with veggies and a piece of Christmas pudding for dessert and you’ve got yourself a nine layer assault on your tastebuds.
The idea has sparked quite a bit of interest with one Twitter user saying, “it looks disgusting…but it’s probably the reason I’d have to try this!”
Another said, “Is this for real? I almost want to try it because it looks so gross!”
No matter how intriguing the idea is, we think it’s just plain wrong. On so many levels.
Tin of Sin
The disgust about this ‘meal’ is shared by common folk and celebrities alike. Late night talk show host Seth Meyers described the Christmas Tinner perfectly. “Containing layers of turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing and pudding, then the bottom layer is a gun so you can finish the job,” he said.
If you are happy to replace the joy of Christmas with this nine course disaster, we can’t help but feel that Seth’s description is in keeping with the mood.
Yet somehow this flavour fiasco has endured, reappearing year after year.
Christmas Tinner For Vegans
And good news for those who don’t eat meat – the Christmas Tinner now has a Vegan and Vegetarian option too.
The Vegetarian Christmas Tinner switches out scrambled eggs and bacon for gingerbread pancakes and the traditional turkey for a nut roast. Then you lucky veggies even get halloumi pigs and tempeh bacon blankets and cauliflower cheese! Talk about leveling up!
All In One Festive Vegan Meal
For those who want to go meat, dairy and poultry free too the Vegan Christmas Tinner is full of delicious alternatives to the Traditional Christmas Tinner. Kick off with scrambled tofu and tempeh bacon before enjoying a mushroom wellington with a side of vegan pigs in aubergine blankets, vegan stuffing and all the veg!
The GAME Vegan Christmas Tinner finishes off with a vegan chocolate cake and custard comparable with an end of level boss! So there are now no excuses to exit the game.
What’s In The Christmas Tinner
Traditional Christmas Tinner
Layer 1 – Scrambled Egg & Bacon
Layer 2 – Two Mince Pies
Layer 3 – Turkey & Potatoes
Layer 4 – Gravy
Layer 5 – Bread Sauce
Layer 6 – Cranberry Sauce
Layer 7 – Brussel sprouts with stuffing or broccoli with stuffing
Layer 8 – Roast carrots and parsnips
Layer 9 – Christmas Pudding
Veggie Christmas Tinner
Layer 1 – Nut roast
Layer 2 – Mushroom Wellington
Layer 3 – Sprouts
Layer 4 – Toblerone
Layer 5 – Roast Parsnips
Layer 6 – Halloumi pigs and tempeh bacon
Layer 7 – Cauliflower Cheese
Layer 8 – Yule Log
Layer 9 – Veggie Gravy
Layer 10 – Gingerbread Pancakes
Layer 11 – Cranberry Sauce
Layer 12 – Potatoes
Vegan Christmas Tinner
Layer 1 – Scrambled tofu & tempeh bacon
Layer 2 – Vegan cheese, olives, and grapes
Layer 3 – Vegan Mushroom Wellington
Layer 4 – Vegan gravy
Layer 5 – Vegan Bread Sauce
Layer 6 – Vegan pigs in aubergine blankets
Layer 7 – Brussel Sprouts & Vegan Stuffing or Broccoli & Vegan Stuffing
Layer 8 – Roasted Butternut Squash, Parsnips & Carrots
Layer 9 – Spiced Red Cabbage
Layer 10 – Vegan Custard
Layer 11 – Vegan Chocolate Cake
Thankfully GAME’s Christmas Tinner isn’t available in Australia, but the image alone is enough – we’ll be enjoying our Christmas dinner a little bit more this year knowing what the alternative looks like.
What’s your go-to Christmas dinner? Would you try this nine course feast in a can? Let us know in the comments.