When you become a Dad, your life is turned upside down.
Of course, that is a good thing because having a child is the best gift you could be given, but it is certainly life-changing. Nothing can prepare you for the shock that you experience when you realise that going out with your mates has been replaced with bottle feeds and dirty nappies. The tiredness is another thing that you might not have considered.
When you are staring at the wall like a zombie at 2am, it may feel like the bottom has fallen out of your world but you soon get used to it. However, there is something else that disappears rather quickly: the time you used to spend with your wife.
Do you remember what that felt like? Probably not, your life is consumed with so more than it used to be that it can get lost but you can get the romance back and spend time with each other again.
It might feel like it is your fault
The fact that the romance has gone from your life may feel like it is your fault. After all, you played a part in creating your beautiful child but it doesn’t have to be like that. The days of dating may have gone and your love life may have been turned upside down but come on, pull yourself together because you are not the first person this has happened to.
The thing is, there is one day a year where you are expected to show your wife how much you love her, that is Valentines Day. While it may seem easier on that particular day, it is possible to get back to normal on any other day when you have the time and that is the issue – the time!
Don’t write yourself off
Don’t toss yourself onto the ‘has-been’ pile because there is still hope. You just need to wipe the sleep out of your eyes, quit the yawning and look at finding a way that you can start showing your wife how much you appreciate her and value everything that she does. After all, just like you, she is a doting parent and she has also made sacrifices.
See, you are not on your own. You are in this together so it is time to start showing her what she means to you by injecting an element of excitement and romance back into your relationship.
Remember the days when you could head out for a romantic meal at the drop of a hat and do whatever you wanted when you wanted? Those days are gone and so, it is now all about making the most of the time that you have together.
You have to squeeze every drop of fun, romance and intimacy from what very little time you have together, without your little one around, here are some tips to get started.
1. Turn it into an event
It is the little things that make a huge difference and turn something from bland to incredible. If you want to head out for a night on the town or to your favourite restaurant then make an invitation for your wife. Of course, the invitation is not there for her to say no, it is just a polite way of telling her that you are taking her out.
If you are cooking, create a menu and tell her to sit there and relax while you do all of the hard work. She will appreciate this because it will show her that you understand that she now puts herself after your baby.
2. Make it a surprise
Sometimes, you have to think outside of the box and if your wife wants to know what you have planned, tell her it is a surprise. Now, you may not have anything planned which is fine, but explaining that it is a surprise will make it feel that you have put a lot of thought and effort into it.
She doesn’t have to know all of this but it will make her feel special and that is all you want to do.
3. Remember that you need this
While you want to have a kind of mini-date with your wife, you have to remember that it’s for both of you. Your lives have become some kind of manic-existence where you find yourself tidying up baby mess and constantly running around looking for a nappy or their favourite rattle that you last saw flying through the air during another tantrum!
So, you need to make sure you this is about you and her. She is your wife and this is a journey that you are on together but making time for each other is more important now than it ever has been.
Has your husband ever surprised you with a date? Share with us in the comments.