When you become a Mother, you radically transform your identity from woman (goddess) to Mother (double goddess). This means a huge change in terms of your role, your physical responsibilities and also your time. Priorities are very different and it really puts in perspective what matters in life and what does not.
With this change, comes a big energetic shift in your identity, your power and your will.
Many women don’t reflect on this important paradigm shift in their life (we are not taught rites of passage in our western world) and some of you can go on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Suddenly you are no longer the corporate executive or the socialite of the group.
In most cases, the sexual connection between you and your partner is lost to the newborn’s schedule. And even once they get to 1 year old, they still seem to know exactly when to interrupt any activity! These expressions of yourself (friends, sexual intimacy and work) are part of your core identity and you worked most of your life to have these opportunities in your lifestyle.
As your new identity as a Mum comes into play, many external factors start to shape this role for you, rather than your own desires.
Your single focus tends to blur your previous identity and it is not always the best outcome. As a result, your power (will to choose and express) can become a little lost and unclear.
After all, once you give birth – you literally just have the energy to feed, care and nurture your new born soul. It is very, very easy to give your power away. The power of choice, the power of clarity, the power of creativity and the power of expression.
If you are extremely clear and powerful within yourself and have your life working in synchronicity to your needs, you have mastered your new identity as a Mother. Perhaps you have given it some thought before you started having children and set some healthy boundaries. Or perhaps it fell into play naturally as you have a really clear sense of self and schedule to stay on track.
If you are like most Mum’s I know, you will probably find that you do indeed give your power away and that your identity may have suffered a few blows. If you feel like you are not being heard or your needs being met (at work or home), then read on to see how you can reclaim your power.
5 Tips to Get Your Power Back
- Make sure you have your own creative hobby or activity that allows you to express who you are. Not only does it shape your self-image, but any right brained activity (art, gardening, cooking, fashion, styling, music, writing) has a miraculous ability to restore your energy and nourish your soul.
- Get clear on your top 10 values. What is most important to you? Peace, love, mindfulness, connection, environment, health, play time, creativity, outdoors, conversations, study etc. Make sure that you incorporate these themes into your life and don’t sacrifice them. It is very important to stay true to what you truly hold dear.
- Only have friends around you that honour you and your identity. If you have people in your network that either drain you energy or conflict with your values, you need to work these people out of your circle. Friends that don’t match your vibration start to pull you off your course and hence your core identity. Retaining friends that are not a match will start to muddy the waters of your sense of self. They simply are not worth it.
- Ask for support and expect it. Better yet, command it! Many Mum’s are the last in line for getting any kind of attention and nourishment. You fill up your central core engine (which happens to be your stomach point and power/identity point) when you receive support, nurturing and help. It’s like a replenishment of the soul. Get better at asking for what you need and expecting you can have it. This does wonders for powering you up.
- Goddess self – you are still a woman and a divine one at that post child birth. The role of a Mother is very demanding and some of us lose the concept that we still have “maiden” energy. That is we are sensual and sexual beings that have a feminine flow and energy. This light and beautiful energy needs to be teased out regularly so that we don’t lose that side of us. Try dressing in goddess clothes, going out on a sexy date with your partner, treating your body to a pedicure or massage or having loads of girly fun adventures with close friends who make you crack up til your tummy hurts.
Try these 5 tips above to reclaim back your power and get into flow with your true self. There is nothing more beautiful, amazing and powerful than seeing a woman in complete clarity of who she is and what she needs.