When you become a parent, not only do you retain the set of skills, qualifications and experience you had before your kids came along, you also gain a whole new set… parenting skills!
Most parents could easily qualify for a job at the United Nations, or any large organisation that deals with various governments, large departments or handles crises on a regular basis. Here’s why:
1) Negotiation skills
Get a bunch of parents in a room, and I reckon they could negotiate just about any trade agreement or major multinational deal. Factor in that most of us are pretty tired and have dealt with tantrums, whinging or small children being insanely stubborn about random things most days, and we won’t take any crap deals. There’s no way talks would take a week to finalise a decision. We’d be done in a fraction of that time.
Valid arguments would be heard, and accepted or dismissed and a result decided. No piss-farting around. We want to get this deal locked away before Play School ends and the kids are no longer happily distracted. If we have a spare few minutes to pee in peace and make a cup of tea – bonus.
2) Dealing with governments
Democracy vs dictatorship? When you have kids, most days, most homes will run like a democracy. Everyone has a valid say, and most of the time, everyone is accepting of this. Except when mum and dad have been up all night with a child with gastro, the dog has been barking at possums outside and waking everyone up when they have finally managed to fall asleep, and then one of the other kids decides they no longer love, or even like, ham and cheese sandwiches in their lunch box. When this happens, household government style changes. Democracy is out. Dictatorship is in. Sorry kids, that’s just the way it goes. Deal with it. We’ll discuss changes another day when we’ve had some more sleep.
3) Dealing with multiple competing priorities
Toddler is running through the house, wearing only a nappy, that is leaking poo. At the same time, the phone is ringing, the seven year old has somehow blocked the bathroom sink and its now overflowing, and the oven timer is going off indicating the cake is ready – telling you you have about four minutes before the oven decides to turn the cake to charcoal.
4) Working in potentially hostile conditions
Small, hard plastic toys left scattered all over the floor of a darkened room. Exploding nappies of epic proportions or projectile vomiting. Often without being provided with protective clothing or a hazmat back up team. Just a regular day as a parent. In the workplace, I’m pretty sure you would get additional loading for working in conditions like that.
5) Proficiency in other languages
Understanding toddler babble and his own version of sign language. The sign for “milk” doesn’t actually always mean he wants milk. Not. frustrating. at. all.
6) Work varied and long hours, often on minimal or broken sleep
Pretty self-explanatory. Does anyone actually know a parent who clocks off after eight hours, gets a whole hour for lunch, and isn’t required back on call until the following day? Nope, me neither.
7) Ability to think on your feet and act on instinct
Got to have ninja-like reflexes to catch that plate of food that has been thrown off the high chair before it hits the just-mopped floor. Running towards projectile vomiting to catch it, without even thinking about it. How many times have you done that?!
As a parent, what are some kickarse skills you could bring to a workplace? Please share in the comments below.
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