Young children can destroy houses as soon as you leave a room.

She may not be in a mental frame of mind with child history of mental illness and a small child difficult to say

The house doesn’t have to be spotless but if it’s tidy the job is half done. As mums we’ve all had to cope with bringing up children, working (full time, part time, casual), looking after a house etc., and although it’s hard at times there are certain jobs that need to be done and kept on top of. If she had a messy house before they married then I think she’s just down right lazy.

I think being a stay at home parent isn’t easy and we all have no right to judge her when none of us know her, we just have what hubby says. Instead of posting to social media and humiliating his wife, maybe he should focus on getting get some help for her depression!

If she was messy when they met like he said, then he can’t expect her to keep a perfect house once a child is involved. But in saying that the house needs to be clean enough for the health of children. I believe everyone should help with the cleaning around the house, it’s everyone’s mess!

I think we should remember just how hard and time consuming it can be to look after a toddler. And with her history, she may well be mentally unwell.That said, it doesn’t sound like she’s pulling her weight. Lazy might be a step too far, though.

I think given that she is home all day she could do some things. They have help so it’s not everything that needs doing. Sounds to me like a mental health issue here too.

He said when they first met that her house was a mess so he can’t really expect her to change now that she has a child to look after!
But also that’s probably more of a motivation to make sure the house is clean so the child doesn’t pick up germs.

This is when they should do try doing it for a week and see if they’d last. My husband thought a stay at home mum was an easy job until he seen first hand what it was like, he certainly changed his tune. I think housework should be shared especially since everybody contributes to the mess.

It is hard work being a stay at home mum, much harder than people realise but I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect your house to be tidy, i would go mad if my house was a mess all the time you need to keep on top of the housework and don’t let it get away from you. It’s not just the wife’s job though household chores should be shared to some extent even if your husband works full time in my opinion.

I actually have to keep busy or I’d go mad! I do all the cleaning, washing (dishes and clothes – except for hubby’s work clothes that he does himself). I even mow the lawns and do odd repairs. But I realise that with very young or demanding children, this isn’t always possible, so there has to be some understanding from the working partner and not judge the home parent as lazy. When we both worked full time, all the chores were split down the middle, but now I have more time, why shouldn’t I contribute more – especially as I enjoy it and it gives me satisfaction. But, all households are different and a measure of give and take and compromise is called for.

No I don’t. Parenting is never easy and compromise needs to happen with both parents. I don’t think stay at home parents should do all the housework, but there could be a bigger issue at hand and it may not just be that a parent is lazy, a lot of the time struggling with the housework is common if we have to much on our plate.

I have a baby with reflux so I rarely get to go to the bathroom on my own without her having a breakdown, let alone do housework! When she is napping, im usually so mentally exhausted that I take that time to just be my own self. If that makes me lazy, so be it because im tired as hell lol.

Sounds like he has unrealistic expectations. Stay at home parents have a huge job and should be valued.

Ok so I am a working mum with 2 kids. My husband hardly helps me in anything unless I ask him to do so, he wont help me in any household chores. I cook all the meals at home, I do the dishes, wash clothes, clean house and does everything else to take care of my kids and family even after that my husband never said to me you did a great job. He is one of those quiet people who sayeverything in their heart instead of using their words. I usually dont share this with anyone because I am doing all this to make myself happy and satisfied. My suggestion to that mum would be to try and keep herself busy, these house hold things needs few hours to finish, dont do it altogether take her time and do it one by one. Tell your husband that you really appreciate all the hard-work he is doing for her and the child and tell him she will try her best to full fill her responsibilities. What makes us different from other living beings it that we can speak. Communicate with him I hope he will understand.

My ex husband also called me lazy when I had severe depression and was exhausted all the time. Funny thing he didn’t do anything around the house either.

Depression is different for everyone. Well done to those who have it and can get housework done. There are some of us who struggle to get out of bed, who have chronic fatigue, and looking after your child is the most important thing and all you can manage, which is huge to someone who would rather crawl into a ball and stay there 24/7.

i have 2 toddlers at home. On the days when i am not at work, i find that i have to be out of the house all day doing something with them in order to keep everyone’s sanity. It’s so hard being the parent that stays at home. Going to work is my day off. My husband comes home and the dishwasher hasn’t been emptied from the morning, the kitchen is a mess – actually the whole house is a mess – and he’s fine with it, as he understands. I actually feel a llittle annoyed with him for not doing enough around the house actually, as he lives there as well. I wonder whether this husband did anything around the house before they had children, or expected his wife to do it all and now finds that she is unable to do it? And maybe like one of the other comments said, he should talk to his wife.

Thus happens. Being a stay at home mum isn’t always easy, we struggle. If it happens on a regular basis though, maybe it should be investigated further. There could be more to it

Gosh, looking after children is a tough gig. Look at all the holidays educators get (well deserved).