I could almost be the lazy wife he’s talking about. Only I’m lucky enough to have a husband who realises that some days the dishes come second to not losing my mind.

Sounds like the man needs more education on the difference between experiencing depression, being lazy & making excuses!

I’m a stay at home mum and I find I am much more productive now that I have two kids. When I just had the one I used his sleep times to rest. Now I don’t get that opportunity so I cook better meals, I get more cleaning done and we have a great time. My husband just picked up the slack because he understood I was up all night feeding a baby and needed to rest when I could.

oh here we go.. work it out and maybe equal share?

I can understand where he is coming from – if your at work all day and working overtime, and your partner is home all day with the kids – you would expect things to be done, like the dishes or dinner started etc, the house a little tidy, a load of washing done etc. I have just gone back to work full time after working part-time the last few years during school hours – I am doing lots of late nights at work but to help out my hubby I do a lot of meal prepping and planning so all he has to do is come home and cook for our girls and leave mine in the oven for later! – I will put the wash on a timer so it finishes close to his knock of time and I just ask him to put it in the dryer and I deal with it when I have finished work for the day – running a household regardless of if one partner works full time, part-time or not at all still needs to be a team effort. Hopefully this husband can think of some ways to have his wife a little more interactive with his ideas and vice versa – personally though I think she is pretty lucky if she doesn’t have to iron and they eat out alot – isn’t that every woman’s dream!

Even with 4 children under 7, I never had a sink full of dirty pots and pans. Although children can and do get into a mess all day and constantly clutter the house with toys, they don’t make the dishes dirty all the time. And if you have a rule like the lounge room is a toy free area, then that’s one room that doesn’t have to be tidied up all the time. I’m with the husband in this instance.

I do t think he was being nasty possibly was reaching out for help trying to understand his own situation
I would may be getting his wife more help and also see how the way she was brought up and if her mother was same as monkey see monkey do
The wife actually might need some help

Why can’t he be supportive instead of being critical of her? She is a mum to a young child. There is your answer to her being “lazy” or having depression. He can be a “mum” for the day and see what housework he manages to do. You clean something and then it’s back to being dirty. It’s what kids do.

Obviously he has never stayed at home to look after children! It’s not as easy and fun as it seems! I love going to work some days to have a break!!

I wonder if she wears his testicles as a necklace or earrings, coz they sure as hell wouldn’t still be attached to him anymore

Time to flip the roles and see how motivated he is about being a stay at home dad. SAHM is a tough gig!

The article mentions depression but no mention of post natal depression. It is possible this could be a hidden cause and can be extremely debilitating. Forgetting housework, is baby safe and happy? Does hubby and wife talk about their feelings together? Is this a cry for help or making a stand for change? Stay at home parents fight traditional role expectations when in reality, each family have unique challenges in an evolving world.

I can’t believe he asked a forum if it was ok. How about you have a rational adult conversation with your wife about what is going on

It was so hard to do any housework when my baby was newborn, so difficult

Reverse the roles and see what happens. If he has a happy and healthy toddler, her work is done! Her job is to be a parent first not a maid…

He tells his wife has had depression since her pregnancy. Every depression is different, I’ve seen depressed people who literally had big struggles to get out of bed, get dressed, make breakfast, brush teeth, let alone take care for a toddler or take a shower or clean the house. I think we should be careful to call one lazy and share our opinion about she should or should not do.

I think he should do her “job” for a week and then can make comments

I could imagine that would be frustrating for him. I was fairly bad at housework when I had my first baby, but after having 3 kids I’m getting better!! So maybe it’s a time thing?
I used to leave dishes for a whole day or night, Hayes doing them, washing basket full, house a mess and cluttered. But now I wash the dishes a few times a day keeping the kitchen clean, do washing a few times a week (sometimes cloth nappies even) and I manage to keep the house fairly clean.. (as much as you can with three crazy kids under 4!)
So maybe time will help her learn to do things better! Having a baby is a massive adjustment. And I could imagine having depression wouldn’t help.

There’s a difference between tdy and clean. SAHM’s shouldn’t do all the housework, but I o think they probably need to do a bit mre than half.

Everyone is different, everyone has different ideas of house keeping. As a SAHM, our home is always clean,.But here is always something that needs tidying, because we actually live in our home ,its not a show house.