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Every new mum knows that our bodies need months to recover from the marathon that is giving birth. So it’s little wonder that this viral video, filmed by a mum two days postpartum, has caused an uproar.

The video, which has been circulating online but doesn’t appear to have an original source, is captioned: ‘I gave birth two days ago and he expects this …’

In the video, a woman is sitting on a couch, while a man is standing nearby. It starts mid-conversation, with the woman saying, ‘Pardon’, in a bid to get her partner to repeat what he just said. And he obliges.

“Can you do a roast?” he asks. To which she responds, “You want me to do a roast? Can I just remind you of something? I gave birth two days ago.”

@itsgoneviral “You can go in the kitchen” ???? #toxic #unfair #newmom ♬ original sound – It’s Gone Viral

And thus ensues a sickening exchange, in which the new dad asks his partner to make a roast for his mum and dad, because she’s been doing ‘nothing but resting’ since she gave birth … two days ago.

“Yeah, two days ago,” he says. “And you came out the hospital straight away and you been sitting around all this time so you can make a roast, surely?”

The new mum replies, “They send me home to get rest, at home.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been doing nothing but resting, look at all these cups of tea for a start,” he continues.

To which the mum replies, “Oh, I’m sorry that I need caffeine to keep going with a newborn baby.”

The new dad then tries to deflect, saying he’s also tired after the birth.

“It’s not easy for me either,” he says. “Right, I didn’t give birth, no. But I’m not sleeping like you, so I’m knackered. You’re awake so. Me mum and dad are coming and you know what they’re like, they always wants a roast.”

She replies: “They always wants a roast but I’ve not just given birth two f***ing days before! You can get up and make it yourself.”

The new dad then tries to defuse the situation, telling his partner that she does a roast better than him, but she accuses him of gaslighting her.

“You’re trying to manipulate me into a making a roast for your mum and dad because you can’t be assed,” she says. “Do you know what? I’ve just cooked for the last nine months, your kid.”

Her partner says he’ll entertain his parents and their baby, she can just cook. “I’ll sit with them, talk to them, with the baby, you’ve got like a couple of hours to yourself,” he offers.

“Oh you sit on your ass with baby while I’m stood slaving over a hot stove, it doesn’t work like that,” she replies.

Wow.

Just wow.

The video has attracted thousands of comments from people across the world, on all social media platforms, enraged at the dad’s behaviour.

While we can’t verify if this video is actually real or fake, the fact it’s ignited heated conversations about the demands on mums after birth can only be a step in the right direction.

What do you think of this situation? Leave your opinion in the comments below. 

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  • I had a similar experience with my 3 daughters father when my second born daughter was 5 days old. He invited his friend and partner over who had a child the same age as our first daughter, 3 years old. I had no choice in the matter, I was made to cook a roast dinner, look after our eldest daughter, plus supervise the visitors daughter as well as look after our newborn. He did nothing, neither did the visitors. I remember sitting down on the floor in tears after scrubbing red icy pole off the floor that the 3 year olds had spilt. Plus it was my birthday as well!
    So in this scenario I commend the woman for standing up for herself, her husband sounds old fashioned, narcissistic and controlling. Either he cooks or the inlaws bring dinner!

    Reply

  • Why can’t he do the roast and she can just sit in the kitchen with their baby and supervise. Better yet, if his parents are coming around so soon after bub is born, they can help him to make the roast and serve it up too. I hope this wasn’t a true situation.

    Reply

  • They could do it together.
    Or even better his parents could bring the meal and some extras for the freezer

    Reply

  • Thats disgusting. How rude and unsupportive of the new dad

    Reply

  • Just Wow! I don’t have any more words than that.

    Reply

  • This tide of toxic masculinity seems to be increasing, not improving. Especially if the recent University of NSW research is anything to go by! We need men to take strong stands on inappropriate language and behaviour.

    Reply

  • This has to be a joke? For clicks right? Otherwise run for the hills girl! If he expects a roast two days after giving birth then goodluck with the rest of your life

    Reply

  • I hope this isn’t a joke because WTAF!? I know there are some people out there who would indeed think along these lines and that in itself is a bullsh*t way of thinking. If this exchange is genuine then it’s tone and undertones are probably vicious due to sleep deprivation and hormones. If it is genuine I hope the male parent is shamed because F YOU

    Reply

  • I’m guessing this is a set up? why else was it filmed? But the video isn’t there now anyway. Regardless if the parents are coming round 2 days after shes given birth they should be bringing dinner ????????

    Reply

  • Give the girl a break….. No new mother should have to cook nor clean until she is ready. Everybody”s body is different and some recover quicker than others. The Inlaws should offer to cook for them.

    Reply

  • I remember my brother in law, expecting his wife to cook/clean/entertain weeks and months giving birth, juggling a baby & 2 toddlers while he sat there talking, eating and drinking. No offer to help. Barking orders, telling her what to do. Even my Mother in law was doing the same to her. Lucky my fiancé (his brother) and myself stepped in, and helped. Even though we had a baby ourselves. We were disgusted that a husband could be like that. Being a parent is team work. So in this situation of giving birth two days ago and hubby expects you to cook, well tell him he can learn to cook or tell the folks to bring a roast. I would be packing my bags. Fair enough he is tired and becoming a parent is overwhelming.. possibly he may have post natal depression too. But at the end of the day, expectations like that is just simply wrong and degrading!

    Reply

  • If this video is true the dad certainly lacks understanding. But not all dad’s are understanding may need some patient education.

    Reply

  • Having a baby is a 2 way street and it does sound like she had an easy birth. Things do need to keep carrying on after birth and you don’t need to rest all the time. If her partner is around helping it stands to reason that they could both pitch in together. A roast is about the easiest thing you can cook because all you need to do is prepare a few things (half hour tops) and then put it in the oven to check every so often. However, if she doesn’t feel up to company so soon, that would be understandable.

    Reply

  • Can’t see the video so can’t really comment but the fact that it was videoed in the first place seems set up. The obvious answer is to tell him no.

    Reply

  • Real or fake it is deplorable behaviour and shines the light on women standing firm and asserting themselves. Never ever take this type of disrespect and have high standards in a partner.

    Reply

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