Its not ok for her to ask you to do this and then get bitchy if you say no. You do not expect anyone to do these things for you. How rude.
Straight out say that you are struggling with bub only being 6 weeks old and perhaps she will breeze though but you are not.

Don’t feel super guilty mum, you haven’t done anything wrong ; in the contrary your honest and gentle response was perfect. It’s clear that your friend isn’t respecting your limitations and your answer at this time. Not only that she manipulating and blaming you and talks with others that you’re selfish. I would stay by that what you have expressed to her and take a little distance till she shows respect

This is really an unreasonable expectation, and I imagine your friend will feel pretty guilty when she has a six week old herself and realises what she’s asked of you! Accordingly, I’d suggest you say no nicely, reiterate what you’ve already said, and maybe make a gentle joke about it when she has a baby.

To go with my other comments below; it is actually rather sad that the health and wellbeing of the mum that is struggling is not being taken as a priority. It should be a warning that many parents can struggle when a baby is born and support is needed. The situation could be in reverse at some point and consideration will no doubt be needed.

I think most people who have had a baby will understand why you’ve refused and how you feel. It is a huge physical thing, most people underestimate how long it will take to heal. And yes, it’s big emotionally and pyschically as well. I would never expect a new mum to host anything.

There is no need to feel guilty for saying you aren’t ready. You have just gone through a life changing experience 6 weeks ago and are working through how to mange life with a new born. For you friend to be like this and not be excepting is unreasonable. Please don’t feel guilty one bit. People who don’t have kids don’t understand until they do.

The new mum has been honest in explaining how she is feeling and also offering to help in other ways. I think Sarah is being unreasonable and her reaction is childish. I honestly doubt this friendship will last.

It really sounds like the friend is being the selfish one! She still has time left and can organise something. I know what it’s like having a newborn and chances are she is about to understand how hard it is when she has one herself. I think the new mum is being perfectly reasonable and has offered alternatives. Your brain is complete mush in those early stages and you are in no position to do things. Looking presentable is a big enough ask!

Guilt is absolutely pointless and also a complete waste of precious headspace. The health of a new mum and baby is a priority and looking after health and wellbeing is important. A baby shower can indeed be held anywhere. It is not about the location; it should be about the people.

Your friend will only realise how hard it would have been for you to host a baby shower once she has her baby. If you know some of the people she is telling you are selfish, get in contact with them and explain your side of the story. If they are true friends they will realise that your friend is being selfish. You know what you can physically and mentally do so look after yourself and your bau. Good Luck

No do not feel guilty at all. You are a new MUM and have a lot to deal with. Your friend is being selfish and unreasonable and the idea that just because she hosted your bridal shower it’s your turn now to repay her deed. She is not displaying any empathy towards your life right now. I am sure she has family and more friends who can help her out. If you are in a friendship group let them know how you feel and that you are not feeling up to hosting and someone else will take on the task, Your friend will get over her wish to have you host her party and hopefully in years to come you are all great Mum’s with families who can have great play dates etc.

Don’t feel guilty ! It perfectly fine, even more it’s very good you express your limitations at this point in time. Your friend should respect this and you shouldn’t even have to justify yourself. The fact your friend is not respecting what you shared with her, but instead is manipulating and guilt tripping you, shows lack of empathy and compassion from her side. Probably I would say something like “it makes me sad that you’re feeling this way, maybe one day you will understand” and then really try to shake it off.

It’s completely outrageous to expect this from you at this time. Or at all really. I’d be point blank dropping her for making a drama out of it and telling everyone what she is. That’s just bad form. Your hands are absolutely full and motherhood doesn’t leave room for unsupportive and toxic friendships.

Stick to your guns, your healing and adjustment must come first. It dosent matter that she did a bridal shower for you. Just tell her that you are struggling to cope and her badmouthing you to friends is not helping. She’s not a friend if she’s getting pouty and mouthy because you can’t do it right now.

absolutely wrong of her to expect you to host something. i would never put anyone in that position where they felt they had to give their home, their personal space as your venue. it should never fall on another person who doesn’t feel comfortable, no matter how close. Good on you for setting that boundary when you werent able to

I think she should respect that you have identified you cant extend yourself like that and probably take it as a prompt to ask if you are okay and what she can do for you. I am sorry to hear that she is not being supportive in this way.
Are you okay? I hope you can surround yourself with supportive friends and family to balance the challenges of this time with the most incredible little moments with your little one.

How entitled is this person? She’s so incredibly wrong for even asking you to host! A bridal shower is totally different to a baby shower after just having a baby. No way let her have her tantrum and throw it back on her and say you’ll host if she watches your new born the whole set up pack down and day. So Rude and entitled

Now is not the time for you to be planning things like this. Child birth and what happens after can be stressful. Having to do extra work of planning and hosting is not really something you should be doing. Hard enough if it your own immediate family that you might have to do this for let enough for someone else.

I really hope OP doesn’t beat her self up about this, it’s the best friend who has her head in the sky’s. When she is newly postpartum she will realise what a hectic ask that is for a new mum. I think people like this aren’t best to keep in your immediate circle. What a terrible way to treat someone who just gave birth and is managing all the chaos that comes with it