We all hope that birthing partners are going to step up and be the person we need during labour, but what happens when one dad does the opposite and ends up a crying mess?
The delivery room is like an alternate Universe, where we never really know how people will behave, or what will unfold during the labour. Will we scream really loud? Will we do a number two during the pushing stages? Will our partner actually be supportive?
One 27-year-old new mum found out the hard way, “My husband Kevin and I welcomed our first baby a week ago. Kevin is the type of person that gets stressed out easily and react to events negatively. We’ve had conversations about his ability to handle being the delivery room.”
This wife shared on reddit that she had pre-empted his inability to be supportive and calm during the birth, and discussed switching him out for another birth partner, “I said if he couldn’t be there it was fine seeing how he reacts under pressure and can have mom there instead. He said he could 100% handle anything and promised to be supportive and positive.”
So, Kevin was in.
THINGS DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED
“I went into labor alone, he met me at the hospital and when he entered the delivery room he looked so stressed out and overwhelmed already. He started moving around periodically, completely ignoring me.”
Delivery rooms aren’t always the serene spaces, with candles and Enya, that we see in movies. The birthing process made Kevin a little frazzled, “He got more visibly stressed when my pain got intense. He took my hand when I started having contractions and kept clutching it almost stopping blood circulation. my entire arm went numb I felt strained and although I was in intense pain I saw his face, It was so red and there was a visible vain in his forehead that looked like it was about to blow up.”
During labour, the mum-to-be saw Kevin completely unravel, “It was not helpful at all, In fact, it was frustrating and affected my emotions negatively. But still, I was willing to suck it up then suddenly he started crying, like literally…sobbing really loud. This sent me into full panic mood. I found myself screaming telling him to stop several times and as a result he literally yelled back in my ear. The nurse got involved I told her to get him out of there. He tried to argue with me but wasn’t given a chance and was pressured to leave the room.”
Afterwards Kevin didn’t come back to meet the baby. Once the baby, a girl, was born, he stayed away upset that he was kicked out of the birth of his baby. When she returned home they argued that he had ‘ghosted her’ after the baby had arrived, “He kept lashing out when I said how bad it was for him to ghost me when I needed him. He said I shouldn’t expect him to stick around after cruelly and selfishly kicked him out the room and robbed him an opportunity to see our daughter’s first breathes. I explained he was causing me to panic with how he was crying but he accused me of making up excuses and I was purely at fault for kicking him out.”
Who did you have in the delivery room when you gave birth? Is it fair that she kicked out her husband when he got too stressed?