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A Mouths of Mums member says she doesn’t know what to do, after her high- schooler ended up wetting himself when his teacher denied him a toilet break.

The mum, who shared her story in the Mouths of Mums Forum, says her 12-year-old son is in year 7, and rarely asks to go to the toilet at school.

“He was in an Art lesson (he had a lesson before this, so it wasn’t just after break/lunch and the toilets are locked during lesson change) and asked if he could go to the toilet, it was 15 minutes in,” she explained.

“Teacher said no and he left it. Five minutes later he asked again and she said that she had already told him no and he said that he really needed to go and she said that he can’t.

“Five minutes even later, he got up and went over to her and said that he really doesn’t think he can hold it anymore and he seriously had to go and she told him to sit down and get on with his work.”

The mum says at this point her son wanted to just walk out and go to the toilet, but they are locked.

“You need a note to get the key and he went over to the sink (he said standing helped) and that’s the only way he could possibly keep it in. She said he was taking too long to wash his hands and he wet himself.

“He then went over to his teacher and asked if he could go to medical as he feels really sick and she then told him to stop it and stop trying to lie his way to the toilet. He sat down.”

“When the lesson was over he began to cry and the teacher went over and asked what the problem was and she obviously saw because before he answered, he said she began to just back away and start to write on the board and told him to just go to lunch.

“He got up and phoned me from the toilets and I went and got him (I pretended he had an appointment, someone else’s was cancelled so he got it quick (wasn’t true)) and now he refuses to go back, he thinks everyone saw, but by the sounds of things they didn’t?? I just don’t know what to suggest.”

The mum is now asking the Mouths of Mums community if she’s being unreasonable, or if the teacher was in the wrong.

“Fair enough if I’m being unreasonable or my son is, but just not sure what to do.”

Leave your advice in the comments below, or head to the Forum.

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  • This is why I don’t support or agree with sending my children to school. This kind of controlling & disgusting behaviour on the teachers part is appalling.

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  • So sorry your son went through this. Give the school a call make a appointment with the Head Master and head of year 7 and ask them why a child is denied their basic right to go to the toilet when it is absolutely required. Everyone has different needs and your son may have a bladder that tells him it’s time to go NOW! Our school has a locked toilet policy but has a few toilets in the office area and kids can go there anytime. The child with bladder problems are known to their teachers and they need only to give the teach a nod, a had signal and the teacher and child know where he/she is going and returning in due time. These teachers are out of order and please let your son know his rights and sort this out now with the school as six years is a long time to have this fear at school.

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  • I did the same thing when I was 6! But I was too shy to ask the teacher if I could go to the toilet. It’s something you’d think I’d get teased about forever, but I didn’t, it wasn’t mentioned ever except by me

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  • I’m sorry this happened to your son. It is disgusting behaviour on behalf of the teacher. I do know there are schools where going to the toilet during class time is frowned upon due to those students who have abused it, but this is just wrong. As a child on the spectrum who did not want to go to the toilet during recess etc. for a number of sensory and social reasons, he used to hold on until the end of the day. This can cause medical problems. We need to exercise care, empathy and common sense. I would be complaining to the school.

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  • If that was me I would have just done it in the sink, that’s disgusting from the teacher she needs to go, I will tell my kids if they’re ever in this situation just get up and walk out!
    When you gotta go you gotta go

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  • That is incomprehensible that a teacher would do that to a child. I would have understood the teacher refusing if he did this all the time or they’d just finished recess. Shame on that teacher, she owes your son and you an apology.


    • Yes this teacher should be very embarrassed by her response and owes the boy a sincere apology !

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  • That is so bad and not acceptable. The consequences now have devastating results. Poor kid I feel his pain: embarrassment, humiliation, low self esteem and just fear.

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  • I responded on the forum and a few days later I still feel angry about this. I sincerely hope that the parent takes this a lot further. It is wrong on so many levels. The trauma that would have caused this child will be lifelong.

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  • Can we also recognise how physically unhealthy it is to not go when we need to. I can’t believe they lock the toilets in between classes. I actually had to say to a teacher once in high school I’m going to pee on this chair if you don’t let me go!! Like honestly I can’t believe kids even have to ask!

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  • It should be illegal for the toilets to be locked. Yes, kids do lie but he gave her fair warning so many times. She was cruel. Talk to the principal.

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  • You cant always control when you need to control. Its such a stupid rule seriously

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  • I don’t understand why this teacher didn’t allow the student to go to the toilet. Her actions are so unreasonable.

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  • This is terrible.

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  • I would go to the school and give this teacher a wet leg (not kidding)

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  • Not a nice thing to happen, the school needs to be held responsible. If a kid needs to go to the toilet they should be aloud. Also they should not be locked. What if people have bladder issues, UTI etc… they need access to bathrooms.

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  • Breaks my heart. This is always a worry of mine!

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  • I always worry this will happen to my kids as it happened to me in kindy and I’ve never forgotten it!!!
    I don’t understand why they would lock the toilets at school?! The mum should definitely talk to the principal about this and have the rules changed.


    • Nowadays you see lots of mocking about in the topilets, under which for example vaping

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  • This is just horrible. Anyone would be hideously embarrassed by that.


    • Yes, not only about wetting themselves, I’m sure a 12 yr old would also feel embarrassed to cry in class

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  • You need to complain about this teacher. Having to wet himself is bad enough but what if he’d had an upset stomach and soiled himself. Poor kid.

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  • I’d be putting in a complaint. Hopefully anyone that saw heard him ask 3 times and realised it may have been him.

    Reply

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