Throwing his son out of the house is a great way to throw a wedge in the relationship between him and his son: it’s damaging, not helpful at all

So…..the 16 year old has a car, is allowed to have girl/s stay over whenever, the father tells E rather than leaving it up to the son and then kicks him out. Seriously the father needs to behave more like the responsible parent than this child’s friend.

We can teach our kids in different ways

Agree it’s good to try and steer him in the right direction but probably was a bit much to call the gf’s dad and tell him.
The whole kicking out of the house thing seems a bit too far but I’m thinking this may stem from the mum leaving?
Anyway, hoping things have since cooled off and they’re back to talking terms.

Although what he did was unacceptable, I think this consequence was a bit severe for a teenager. They are kind of designed to screw up.

You kept it simple and uncomplicated. You stuck to the facts. Both hubby and i agree what you did was important as this is going to help him navigate his relationships throughout his life from this point on

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 16 Mar 2024 , 7:16 am

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  I’m not sure if I agree. You use your own relationship as a parent to teach about relationships; trust, respect and empathy should be mirrored in that

You’re not the ***hole but what you should have done was tell him to send the girl home. Then tell your son he is not to bring any more girls home. He also needs to let E know what is going on then just step back. I hope you can get back the relationship you had with your son.

Not an a**hole but I feel you made a wrong choice.
You are his Dad and need to show him you love him no matter what. That doesnt mean that you have to agree with him but throwing him out of home was going way too far.
I think you should have calmly explained to him that his treatment of both girls was very wrong and unless he wants to get a bad rep with all the girls at school he needs to lift his game and start treating girls with respect. Make sure you are leading by example.

A calm conversation between father and son would be more effective in my opinion. Kicking the son out of the house is the wrong thing to do and harms the trust and the relationship between father and son

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 16 Mar 2024 , 5:27 am

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  I agree; mistakes get made at an early age and children learn from mistakes and need a calm adult to guide them in the right direction. Cutting off communication hinders the process of being able to learn from mistakes and make considered and correct choices. Growing up can be a difficult process and there will often be lots of issues and problems to manage along the pathway to adulthood.

A mature conversation with respectful communication and actions is needed in this situation between the parent and child. Calm heads are needed to manage this situation. The son should have been the one to discuss with the girlfriend. Growing up and becoming an adult means taking responsibility for one’s actions.

Good on you dad for teaching your son the right thing to do. However kicking him out is not going to achieve you what you want.
Kids make mistakes even adults do, but the difference is kids are still learning and its up to a trustworthy adult to show and lead the right way. Kicking him out will cause him hate and distrust to his most trusted person. Be there for your child in the right but most importantly be there when his in the wrong.

Well done Dad on taking a fork stand on this. My 16 year old nephew cheated on his GF at the time as well and the girls mum read him the riot act at the bus stop! Kicking him out? Probably a bit too much but consequences are important!

It’s definitely not something to condone as a parent. Kicking him out may have been a bit harsh, but I can completely understand it. It’s a total jerk thing to do like he was ‘trying to teach her a lesson’ because they had a disagreement. Imagine that coming into a marriage. He needs to learn the behaviour is unacceptable now, while he is still impressionable.

He’s not an A-hole it’s good they have a break from each other. J needs to learn from what his dad has done, respecting treating people properly is learnt from an early age. J will hopefully see what he did to his girlfriend is wrong and then apologises.

I definitely don’t like the cheating part. That is not okay. But kicking him out of the house is a bit harsh.

You just wanted to get rid of him and now you found a reason . This is how you treat your best friend well guess what he will never forget this and he is better off with out you are a bum.
Did you ever stop think your wife left you because she was cheating and he is not really your son. You are nothing but garbage.

Ooh, I think that was an over-reaction. Perhaps wait until things had calmed down and then had a conversation. It was clearly an emotional situation, and his son is the a-hole for what he did, but perhaps he needs to own his actions and sort it out. Hope you’re able to work this out with him.

I don’t think dad is an a**hole. Obviously his wife walked out and it was due to cheating otherwise the reaction wouldn’t have been as bad. He did the right thing by talking to his son. His son is not on the streets and at a family members place. His son has to own up to the fact that cheating is not something that is accepted. Hopefully once everything settles, his son will realise why his dad wasn’t happy with him.

Talking with J about cheating would have been better solution. I don’t think the dad is the a**hole though.

I wouldn’t call yourself the a**hole, but I think the reaction to evict him from home was too much.

J should have been strongly counselled not to cheat, and resolve his issues with E.