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A new mum admits ‘looks awful’ after having her first baby, and doesn’t understand why.

She’s taken to a forum to ask other mums if they also experienced the same thing after giving birth.

“I used to be attractive,” she explained.

“Not mind-blowingly gorgeous but I felt attractive and had attention, I would get dates easily. Men were interested. I left the house feeling like I looked good.”

But since having her baby, the new mum says she doesn’t look the same, and no matter what she does, can’t get back to how she used to look.

“I have an 18 month old. She sleeps so it’s not about lack of sleep. But I look awful!

“Honestly, my hair won’t take dye properly anymore, even at salons it comes out looking the same and still dull.

“My skin is darker with more brown patches. My make up won’t go on nicely. My face looks smaller but also saggier. Literally months before i was pregnant I look entirely different. I could make myself look good.

“I look sh*t now no matter what I do? Why?! Surely it’s not just childbirth?”

The mum was met with hundreds of comments, reassuring her that it’s a very common feeling after going through pregnancy.

“I have a 21 month old and I’m 100% certain that I never used to look this haggard and sh*t. I’ve always been pale skinned but f*ck me I look like a bloody vampire now. And after little one being a terrible sleeper for the first year I just can’t seem to shift that look of absolute exhaustion even though he sleeps through the night now. I’m 37 and I’m pretty sure I look about 100,” one mum commented.

Another sympathised: “It’s not childbirth, it’s pregnancy. When they say your body is never the same again, they don’t just mean the size of it. I have three kids and the first gave me continence issues, the second gave me an autoimmune disease and the third one took my looks.”

“I think it’s partly the contrast with pregnancy hair/nails/skin and postpartum, and the cumulative effect of sleep deprivation. I am 2.5 years in with a non-sleeper and I look f*cking dreadful. I have thrown money at the problem with dental work, Botox, highlights and regular eyebrow waxing. I’m fat too but I can’t bring myself to do anything about that beyond a twice a week slow jog. It’s sh*t and demoralising but I figure everyone ends up looking old eventually, it’s about just trying to look the best you can given your age and stage,” another mum said.

Do you have any advice to offer this mum? Share your thoughts in the comments below. 

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  • Our bodies change but I have no problem with that.

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  • This is an article…

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  • Personally I think that beauty comes from within, not from your looks.

    I was reading 5 things that make you more attractive that have nothing to do with your looks;
    * Sense of humour. Never underestimate the power of a genuine smile and a contagious laugh. …
    * Authenticity. Being true to yourself is one of the main things that make you more attractive and will make you stand out. …
    * Empathy. …
    * Generosity. …
    * Knowledge.

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  • If you ask your doctor he’ll probably tell you it’s just hormones.

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  • I felt like this after my first baby.
    After my second I realised how important it was to me to look after myself and feel my best, especially for my mental health. And when I feel amazing I’m a better happier mum for it. It’s not selfish to look after yourself

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  • I definitely feel like this after 4 kids lol. My kids are my pride and joy but I really need to spend some more time and energy looking after myself more.

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  • I think it’s important to make sure you look after yourself too, as mum I feel we tend to forget about ourselves and focus on our little ones.

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  • Yeah I feel this but I’ve had 4 lol… and honestly even though I’d still like to feel physically attractive my kids are worth so much more to me anyway.

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  • Maybe focus more on gratitude – you have a beautiful child whom is as normal as possible.

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  • Our daughter is 5 and I’m still coming to terms with the new me. Focus on your health, are you eating well, stressing a little as you possibly can? I totally feel everything this mum is saying, it’s a change of mindset and the need for a new realisation. On the upside, I care way less about what other people think of me – I am only focussed on how I feel about myself so that is totally refreshing. Less maintenance required but more inner work to get through!

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  • Shift the focus to that gorgeous baby and stop worrying.

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  • I went through an adjustment in terms of how I looked, questioning what I should wear. My body has changed. I really did feel and look different.

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  • Pregnancy truely changes you and your body thats for sure – nothing is the same after that

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  • It’s partly about just feeling and looking “different” to before. You’ll get used to it.

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  • I hadn’t noticed such drastic problems after having my babies. Maybe you’re just focusing on it too much

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  • No you are just plain ugly and remember women always shine when they are pregnant

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  • Hormonal changes and lack of sleep will do it. The same will happen when you go through Menopause.

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  • I think having kids definitely ages you. I mean think about the stress your body goes through during pregnancy, it’s only natural. But I also believe it could be confidence issues too.

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  • My body changed during pregnancies and afterwards and I embraced it. I focused on healthy eating and getting out and exercising and socialising to release natural feel good endorphins. Faces and bodies do change as we age and that is part of the cycle.

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  • It takes a while for your body to recover and your hormones to get back in balance indeed.
    My best advice would be to go out and enjoy your baby and your partner, your friends and family, the sun, nature and life in general as best as you can. Beauty is more than the looks, it comes from within


    • I agree; women should not be defined by appearance or even care what others think of their appearance.

    Reply

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